Red vs Blue vs RWBY: Recreation
by Lavernius Tucker The Aqua Man
Summary: Teams RWBY and JNPR are back at it! Teleported once again into the world of Red vs Blue, they are forced to fight someone they thought was an ally, and help Epsilon to find his memories and Tex!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyguys! It's been a while, hasn't it? So, to start off, I am putting all of my stories on hold because I just knew I had to make this. I'm serious, people. This may be my best story yet.**

 **Now, a couple of things:**

 **I don't own RWBY or Red vs Blue, yadda yadda yadda, all that stuff.**

 **This is based off of another author's work. DocTokuMA's RvBvRWBY is a two-story series (Sort of.), where teams RWBY and JNPR are sent into the world of RvB. If you want to understand some of the plot, you will need to go ahead and check out his stories. So I guess this is a fanfiction of a fanfiction. I will post a link at the end of this chapter. I don't think this is against the rules, I checked and they didn't say anything. so YOLO.**

 **This takes place during Season 7 of Red vs Blue. South Dakota will not be in the story, it will be explained.**

 **That's pretty much all I have to say. DocToku, I hope this is ok, please don't run me over with a Warthog. Enjoy!**

 **-—-—-—-—-**

Beacon Academy. The most prestigious learning center for students yearning to become Hunters and Huntresses in all of Remnant. And in that Academy, were two teams, both of which contained the cream of what was available in this most reputable school. Team RWBY and JNPR, to be exact. however, today, they weren't exactly performing at what would be their peak proficiency.

Jaune Arc wobbled onto the floor, as the Boarbatusk threatened to flatten him with it's huge tusks. He yelped, and covered his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

A shot rang out through the building, and Jaune moved his fingers apart so he could see. There stood Professor Port with his axe/gun, pointed at where the Boarbatusk used to be.

He reached a hand out to the young man, and stood him upright.

"Be mindful, Mister Arc. Those tusks may not look very threatening, but they pack quite a wallop." He said to Jaune.

Jaune nodded. "Y-yes, Professor."

He sat down in his seat, next to Pyrrha, who looked at him with a sad smile.

"I am most intrigued. Teams RWBY and JNPR, you have been performing at a lower level than what I would usually expect this quarter. I feel I must ask. Is there something the matter?" The Professor inquired.

The eight kids all looked at each other for a moment, before Ruby spoke up.

"U-um, no, Sir. We just…" She looked at Jaune.

"We haven't been getting alot of sleep lately." Jaune answered.

"Y-Yeah," Ruby agreed.

Professor Port raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm. Well, I suppose I need not remind you that sleep is very important in the life of a Hunter, or a Huntress. Oh! Speaking of sleep, allow me to tell you the tale of when I…"

After class, the two teams congregated in the mess hall.

"We can't keep slumping about because of what happened." Pyrrha stated. "It's beginning to affect our grades."

Yang nodded. "Pyrrha's right. We couldn't have done anything to affect what would've happened to Church."

Ruby looked down. "Yeah, but it seems like we always leave at the worst possible times!"

Blake put a hand on her shoulder. "Cheer up, Ruby. Weiss said that the very best Schnee scientists were working on making another portal. Last we heard, they were very close to making a breakthrough."

Ruby perked up. "Thanks, Blake. It's just, all this waiting is sooo cruel!"

"Well, wait no longer!" Everyone turned around, just to see Weiss make her way over to the table.

"Weiss! Where were you?" Ruby questioned.

"Only finding out that the Schnee Dust Company is now in possession of a portal!" She exclaimed.

"Yessss!" Ruby cheered. Everyone had a bright smile on their face. They were going back!

"Umm, how did you manage to keep this a secret from, well, everyone?" Yang asked, a little paranoid.

Weiss shrugged.

"It's amazing what someone will do if you give them enough lien to swim in." Weiss said, winking.

"Nice thinking, Princess!" Yang chuckled.

"Okay, tonight, meet at the Beacon launch platforms. I set up the portal there. Got it?" Weiss explained.

"Got it!" Was everyone else's reply.

The shattered moon lit the night sky over the Emerald Forest. From the cliff where their adventure had all began, the two teams could see everything.

"Hey, there's where we rode the Nevermore!" Ruby said, pointing to another cliff.

"That was a stupid idea." Weiss reminded her. "We were lucky to survive that."

Ruby just rolled her eyes.

"Is it ready?" Ren asked.

"Yep." Weiss replied "I just need to flip this switch, and here we go!"

A bright light shone from the device. Circuits whirred. Gears turned. Computers beeped. Then, a green light appeared.

"Everyone, this is the day we've been waiting for." Ruby said. "This is the day we open up the door!"

Yang raised an eyebrow. "Huh. I swear I heard that before. Can't think of where."

"C'mon, guys! Let's go!" Nora exclaimed, before (somehow) picking up all of her friends.

"W-woah! Nora!" Jaune shouted.

"Wait! I haven't calibrated who we're gonna teleport to!" Weiss said, but it was too late. Nora had thrown them all in the green light, and jumped in herself.

In the middle of a desert, two alien elites walked side-by-side, with their plasma-based weapons at their sides...

Ruby landed in the sand, with Yang at her side.

"Sooo… Where do you think we are?" Ruby asked, brushing sand off her cloak.

Yang shrugged. "Beats me."

Ruby looked around. "Hmmm… A desert, huh? I guess we aren't in Blood Gulch."

"Or… Anywhere for that matter," Came a voice from behind them, as they turned around and saw Blake and Weiss getting up off of the ground.

"Heh. Well, at least we don't start out with guns pointed at us!" Ruby said. Everyone laughed.

"Yes, I agree." Weiss added.

That was when they all heard the sound guns clicking and devices charging. Turning around, they saw a huge hulking beast, pointing some kind of weapon with purple spikes protruding from the top at the four.

"Blarg Blarg!"

Looking around, they saw that they were now encircled by these creatures as well as some humans in white armor.

"Great." Ruby groaned.

"This is gonna be a running gag, isn't it?" Yang asked no one in particular.

"Yup." Blake answered.

 **Eh? Ehhhhhhhh? Whaddya think?**


	2. The Adventure Begins

_ZORP!_

Jaune, Nora, Ren and Pyrrha landed on a grass hill, overlooking two structures.

"Ow! That hurt!" Ren said out loud.

"Nora! You didn't let Weiss choose who we were gonna teleport to!" Jaune scolded.

"Oops! Sorry!" Nora replied.

Jaune sighed. "I guess it's ok. Let's just hope we are at least somewhere near Red or Blue Team."

"To be honest, I'm hoping it's Washington." Ren stated.

"Yeah, me too. Everyone else is all idiots!" Jaune agreed.

"I heard that!"

Everyone turned around to see Simmons walk down to the base they were next to, away from a motorcycle.

"Hey! Simmons! What's happening?" Jaune called out.

"Huh? Pyrrha? Nora? Jaune? Ren? How did you get here?" Simmons asked, realizing the four people who he was nearing.

"Oh, you know, Weiss is a millionaire, so we thought we would visit you!" Nora replied, with Ren and Jaune facepalming.

"Millionaire?" Simmons repeated. "Wait, you..."

"Yes?" Pyrrha asked.

"You guys..."

"Uhh... Simmons?" Jaune said.

"You guys wanted to visit me?"

Nora smiled.

"Yes, Simmons. We wanted to visit you."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"You aren't here for anyone else?"

Pyrrha put her hand on Simmons.

"Simmons, despite what happens between you and your teammates, you are important to us. We came here to see the Reds and Blues, and that includes you." She said, smiling.

There was a pause. They could hear Simmons sniffling.

"Um, are you okay, Simmons?" Ren asked.

"Wha-? No-" He began in a squeaky voice similar to one would make if they were crying.

"Awww! I think he's crying!" Nora said.

"What? I'm not crying! This is my normal voice! It definitely isn't because I'm crying, that would be just stupid! Why would I cry? I'm a Red! Reds don't cry!" He replied very quickly, still in a high pitched voice.

Team JNPR just all laughed.

"Simmons, you can be a Red and cry. Trust me." Jaune said.

There was a brief moment before Simmons spoke again, this time in his normal tone.

"If you tell Grif this happened, I will-" He began, before he realized that he was talking to people who were very skilled warriors. "I will crash this motorcycle. That's threatening, right?"

"Don't worry, we won't tell a soul." Ren reassured.

"Whew! That's a relief! Normally I would threaten to poison your food, but I like living." Simmons explained.

Pyrrha nodded. "Good choice."

"Soo, whatcha up to?" Nora asked.

"You guys...want to know what I'm doing?" Simmons clarified.

Jaune sighed. "Yes, Simmons. We care about what you are doing!"

There was another pause.

"I-I think I need a minute." Came the reply, again in a squeaky voice.

He walked back to the motorcycle, leaving team JNPR behind.

"So where did team RWBY go?" Ren asked the group.

"Good question." Pyrrha said.

"Aw, darn it! This is just like last time! We lost them!" Nora pouted.

"Don't worry, Nora. We'll find them." Ren replied.

Simmons came back.

"Okay, I'm all set. To answer your question, I was about to go find Donut."

Pyrrha lifted an eyebrow. "Donut? That cardboard soldier Sarge had back at Blood Gulch?"

"No, Donut is a real person." Simmons said.

Jaune laughed. "Who names their kid Donut?"

"Beats me." Simmons replied. "Any-who, I'm about to call him."

"Cool," Nora said.

"Hey Donut! Lopez built you a motorcycle! But he broke it!" Simmons shouted.

"Lopez is here?" Ren asked.

"Yeah, everyone except Sarge, Grif, and Caboose. Well, actually, that and Church, who got concealed in some kind of AI holder thingy." Simmons explained.

"What about Doc and Tucker?" Pyrrha asked.

"Oh, I don't actually know-" Simmons began, before he was cut off by another voice.

"Hey! Simmons! I'm inside Blue base! Guess what? Blue Team got a new soldier!"

"Hang on, everyone. I'm just gonna talk to Donut." Simmons said, before walking over to the entrance of the base.

"What? They sent over a new soldier? Why would they do that? That doesn't make any sense!" He shouted back as he walked.

"Ahh, good to be back!" Nora said.

"Simmons hasn't changed a bit!" Jaune added.

"Yes." Pyrrha agreed.

"Something wrong?" The team leader asked.

"It's just...Something doesn't feel right." She confessed.

"What do you mean?" Ren said.

"Well, if you recall, we teleported here to help the Reds and Blues." Pyrrha began.

"Right," Jaune agreed.

"Well, it doesn't seem like there's anything going on. I mean, everything looks fine, as far as I can tell. Remember last time when we had a gun pointed at us? At least we knew something was off." She explained.

Right then, they could hear a loud shout coming from inside the base, "OH FUCK!"

They immediately ran towards the base, seeing Simmons run out the entrance.

"Simmons!" Jaune shouted. "What's wrong?"

"No time! Run, RUN!" Simmons yelled back, sprinting past the team.

JNPR readied themselves for whatever threat was going to come out of that base. But nothing could have prepared them for this sight.

"T-The Meta?!" Jaune exclaimed.

"How? I thought it was dead!" Ren said.

"It doesn't matter! We have to take him down!" Pyrrha said, egging on her team.

The Meta growled, recognizing the four. It pulled out its grenade launcher.

"Get ready!" Jaune yelled to his team.

"I hope Ruby and her team are doing better!" Nora said.

Team RWBY was doing better, but not by much. They had been captured by a group of aliens and humans, and were now being lead to a massive looking vehicle overlooking some sort of pyramid-like structure. As they got closer, they could see more aliens and humans, pointing their weapons at a blue soldier whom they recognized almost immediately.

"Caboose!" They all said at the same time. The dark blue figure turned towards them.

"Oh, my-Ruby! It is so good to see you!" Caboose said excitedly.

"Hey, Caboose!" Ruby said, running up to him and hugging him.

"Um, aren't you forgetting some people?" Yang asked. Caboose looked to the three other people.

"Oh, yeah! And uh, Yang, and Blake, and uhhh...I forget your name!" Caboose replied, looking at the heiress.

"Weiss." She corrected.

"Oh, yeah! I remember now. The one who is always mad at people." Caboose said.

"I do not-" Weiss began, agitated at first, but then stopped. She then sighed. "I'm not always like that, Caboose."

"Can it!" One of the soldiers barked. "The Boss is coming."

The five turned to see someone in brown armor run up to the site, pointing his rifle at two other familiar soldiers.

"Sarge! Grif!" Yang yelled, waving her arm.

"Huh? Team RWBY! Good to have you back! And just in time, too! Maybe we can use your Scrolls to send a message to Simmons!" Sarge said.

"Shut up, and keep moving!" The brown colored soldier ordered.

"Alright! We're going! Don't boss me!" Grif replied, as the trio approached the group.

"Hey, what's goin' on up here?" The soldier asked.

"Blarg, Blarg!" A purple alien replied, pointing at Caboose and the vehicle.

"Sabotaging the digger, huh? And these four must be backup!" He said, looking at the team.

"What? No! This is a huge misunderstanding!" Weiss exclaimed.

"Shut up! I knew it! Who sent you here? What do they know about us?" He demanded.

"Dammit, Caboose, why do you keep messing with the vehicles?" Sarge said.

"Caboose? Oh, no! What did you do this time?" Blake asked.

"Oh, I was just trying to find a home for Epsilon. No biggie." Caboose replied, gesturing to a strange device.

"What? What is that thing?" The brown soldier asked. All of a sudden, a loud rumble turned their attention to the pyramid-like structure. A hatch of some sort slid up from the temple.

"Shit!" He exclaimed. "He's opening the temple! Dammit! Are you with him?" He asked.

"With who? Blake replied.

"Aw, crap!" He said. He turned to the soldiers and aliens. "Get down there! Kill him if you have to, and don't let that door close again no matter what happens!" He ordered.

"You heard 'em, let's move!" One of the soldiers yelled, as they ran over to the temple. Team RWBY and their color-coded friends made a break for it.

"C'mon, let's get the fuck outta here!" Grif exclaimed.

As the soldiers and aliens made their way to the temple, a flash of blue caught their attention, before one of the aliens fell down. They opened fire, and a battle ensued.

Meanwhile, Grif and Yang made their way to the digger's cockpit.

"See ya, suckers! You just got 'yoink'ed!" Grif said.

"More like 'Yang'ed!" The brawler replied.

"Aw hell yeah! Good to have you back, Yang!" Grif exclaimed.

"Good to be back. I gotta admit, I missed all the stupid stuff!" Yang replied.

"Now, how the fuck do you drive this thing? Why are there four pedals if there are six directions?" Grif asked, trying to get the digger to move. "Where the fuck is second gear?" He questioned again as it started moving.

Ruby, Sarge, Weiss and Blake were on the ground, following the digger, which was moving very slowly.

"Grif! Yang! If you're gonna run away in the middle of a battle, at least have the decency to drive faster than I can run!" Sarge yelled.

Grif was getting frustrated with the controls. "Is the emergency brake on? I don't-" He stammered."Fuck this, this is stupid!" He then ran out of the digger, with Yang close behind him, who was rolling her eyes.

Meanwhile, the soldiers and aliens were still firing, with one of them using a turret. A Warthog drifted over to a couple of them, before flipping over and crashing. The driver quickly got out and opened fire, but got stuck with a sticky grenade. Then, the alien operating the turret also got stuck, before getting launched into the air. The brown soldier managed to dodge one, before ducking behind a boulder as he barked out orders: "Cover me! Fall back!" The group ran past him, up a dune, before coming face to face with...

"Tucker!" Team RWBY exclaimed.

"Hey guys! Head for the temple! I'll cover you, hurry!" Tucker shouted, holding his sword.

"Oh, my-Tucker! Is that you?" Caboose asked.

"Yeah, of course it's me! Now move!" He replied.

"Soo... Where've you been?" Caboose asked. Weiss face-palmed.

"What is this, some kinda fuckin' reunion?" Tucker asked, as an explosion went off next to him. "Move your asses, idiots! I'll meet you over there!" He ran off, leaving the group to run for it.

"What in Sam Hill was all that?" Sarge asked.

"I don't know, Sarge, but I think we're gonna find out." Ruby replied.

"Who cares? Just move!" Grif exclaimed.

Yes, for teams RWBY and JNPR, their next adventure with the Reds and Blues had just begun.


	3. Meeting Old Friends

**Whew! Ok! Chapter 3! I've been getting some reviews saying that I should strengthen the dialogue, so I will try to fix that for you peoples.**

"I'm sorry, do we know each other?"

"You are Special Agent Washington, former member of Project Freelancer. Also known by the designation: Recovery One." Came the reply from the screen.

"Also known as Prisoner 619-B." Washington stated.

"Convicted, three counts, dereliction of duty, eight counts of conspiracy to commit treason, and my personal favorite, seven counts destruction of protected, classified military property." The man on the screen added.

"And you are...?" Washington asked.

"I am someone extremely disappointed in the destruction of said property. That is all you need to know." Came the immediate response.

"I wanna make a deal." Washington began. "I have information that you want."

The man on the screen raised an eyebrow. "All the information that I want was lost in the destruction of Project Freelancer."

"Not all of it."

The man sneered. "Agent Washington, If you knew anything that could've kept you from prison, I am sure it would have come to light during your trial. So if your quite through with wasting my time, we'll-"

 **"** I know you are missing the Epsilon unit. And I know where to find it."

There was a brief pause.

"You have my attention."

"It disappeared after the events of Freelancer Command. You searched everyone associated with the program. Even the Red Team troopers you found."

"Yes, the ones who were found bickering around the stalled jeep."

"There is another group of soldiers. A blue squad. And a group of eight kids. Team RWBY, and Team JNPR. They escaped with Epsilon." Washington explained.

"I show no records of these soldiers, or these two teams." The man replied.

"And you won't, but I know where to find the Blue soldiers. So here's the deal: I get you that missing module, you get me out of here. I get a clear slate, and we both forget we ever knew each other."

"That sounds fair."

"And I'm going to need some equipment. Things to deal with the two teams if they show up. Invisibility, overshields, anything leftover from Freelancer."

"I think we can point you in the right direction for that."

Simmons screamed while he ran as his motorcycle flipped past him, a grenade barely missing him, with Jaune being sent flying into him. The Meta growled as Pyrrha blocked one of his shots with her shield, before throwing Ren into Nora.

Meanwhile, Team RWBY, along with Sarge, Tucker, Grif, and Caboose were standing outside the temple, shooting back at the soldiers and aliens.

"Guys! Hold them off! I'll get the door!" Tucker said, running inside with his sword.

The door started to close, as the group ran inside.

"There!" Tucker said, once the door had closed.

"Tucker!" Caboose exclaimed.

"Hey Caboose." Tucker replied. He turned to the four Huntresses.

"Sup' ladies?"

Weiss, Yang and Blake rolled their eyes.

"I would say it's good seeing you again, but that would be an overstatement." Weiss said.

"Eh, good enough for me."

"Oh, hey, look. It's that guy." Grif said.

"Wait, you brought THESE guys?" Tucker asked, gesturing towards the Reds. "Are we killing each other today? Or pretending to work together?"

"Uh, the pretending version." Caboose replied.

"Let's see how long that lasts," Blake muttered to her teammates, who giggled.

"Oh. Ok. Cool." Tucker said as he put his sword back and took out his rifle. "Hey dudes, what's up? How did y'all find me?" He asked.

"Well, we wanted to see you guys again! So, we decided to make another teleporter." Ruby explained.

"Really?" Grif asked.

"Yup!" Yang replied.

"Wow. No offense, but you have some low standards." Grif said.

Weiss sighed. "Yeah. We do."

"No, I mean YOU guys. Caboose and the Reds." Tucker clarified.

"Oh." Ruby said.

"We got that radio call you sent." Sarge replied.

"The distress signal? And they sent YOU assholes?" Tucker asked incredulously.

"Hey!" Ruby said.

"Not talking to you!" Tucker said. "That to help me! I wanted less distress, not more distress!"

"Tucker, that's not very nice, although I can see where you're coming from." Blake said to him.

"Uh, actually we kinda ignored that call at first?" Grif explained.

"That makes sense." Tucker said.

"And then Donut showed up and told us you were in trouble."

"Oh yeah! Donut! I forgot all about Pinky!" Yang said.

"Ohohoh! I get it. So me making an emergency call, not a big deal. Donut telling you some dumb homo story? Red alert!" Tucker said.

"Pretty much." Sarge replied.

"Great. See? This is why I left Blood Gulch." He said to team RWBY. "So where's everyone else?"

"What do you mean?" Caboose asked.

"The rest of the people who are gonna help me fight these fuckers off!" Tucker replied.

There was a pause.

"You didn't bring any other soldiers, did you?" Tucker asked.

"Oh, um, that depends. By other soldiers do you mean... people other than us?" Caboose said

"Yes he does/Yes I do." Blake and Tucker replied at the same time.

"Then, no." Caboose said. Tucker looked at the four.

"Okay, okay, maybe you're right." Yang said, shrugging.

"What's going on here?" Sarge asked.

"Yeah, who were those people?" Weiss added.

"It's kinda hard to explain." Tucker replied. "They think there's some kind of artifact here. Some massive weapon built a long time ago."

"An old weapon... like a spear?" Caboose asked.

"I don't think a spear would be worth searching for, unless, of course, we're talking about Pyrrha's spear." Ruby replied.

"No, not a spear, like some kind of super-energy-electric thing." Tucker said.

"Great description." Yang said sarcastically.

"An electric spear!"

Weiss face-palmed.

"It's not a spear, dumbass!" Tucker said.

"Hrm. Think I've heard about these. They found some back during the war." Sarge said.

"The war?" Blake asked.

"Oh, yeah. We had this war where basically Earth got invaded by a bunch of aliens, and some dude beat the shit out of them, and blew up their armada." Grif replied.

"Sounds...Interesting." Ruby said.

"Not really. Thanks to that douchebag, We all got stuck in Blood Gulch fighting each other." Tucker said. "Any-who, all the aliens are into them, and so are the humans now. So me and Junior have to go around sometimes and help...negotiate stuff. Y'know, like smooth talk."

"Why you?" Grif asked.

"We're like ambassadors here or something. Humans and aliens seem more comfortable with us since we're kinda...Y'know, in between."

"In between aliens and humans, huh? You mean in between two alien and human...ladies?" Caboose said.

"Huh?" Ruby asked.

"Oh, no." Weiss muttered.

"C'mon dude, seriously? You're not gonna get me to say it with that lame-ass joke. I'm not that easy." Tucker said.

Everyone looked at him.

"Are you now?" Blake said disbelievingly.

"Ok, well maybe I am that easy. Bow chicka bow wow." Tucker replied.

"There you go." Yang said.

"See? Now that's a setup." Tucker said.

"Ahaha. Yeah, I hope one day you would tell me what you're going to do between the two ladies." Caboose said.

"Yeah. Me too." Ruby said.

"Maybe when you're older." Yang said.

"So are you a part or the group that CT told us about?" Sarge asked.

"I'm assuming that was the brown guy." Blake said.

"That asshole? He's a fucking liar. He and his team killed the guys originally sent to dig this thing up, then they tried to kill me!" Tucker exclaimed.

"Sounds like a friendly bunch." Yang said.

"Ohno-Well I hope you stop them!" Caboose said.

"I locked myself away in this temple. I figured it would keep me safe and keep them away from the relic."

"Good call." Ruby said. "That was awesome by the way, the way you swooped in to save us!"

"Yeah, where did you learn to do that?" Weiss asked.

"What do you mean?" Tucker replied.

"I mean...You never fought like that in Blood Gulch." Yang said.

"What are you talking about? Remember when I fucking speared that giant animal thing?" Tucker replied.

"Well, y'know..." Blake began.

"Ohohoh! I get it! You didn't think I was a capable soldier, did you?" Tucker said.

"No, it's just that..." Weiss started.

"We're morons?" Grif asked.

"Weeelll not really, we just..." Ruby tried.

"Think we suck." Tucker finished.

"Yep. Basically." Yang said.

"YANG!" Her sister scolded.

"What?" She asked. "We were all thinking it."

"Y'know, I'm kinda surprised you didn't say it sooner." Grif said. "So who are they?" He asked Tucker.

"I don't have any idea, dude. They're probably trying to steal the artifact, then sell it to the highest bidder." Tucker replied.

"Oh, their like evil Ebay!" Caboose threw in his two cents.

"You're an idiot." Tucker replied.

"What's an Ebay?" Yang asked.

"It's this website where you can auction stuff off to people." Grif replied.

"Oh." She replied. "What's a-"

"Aaand, question time's over." Tucker said. "Look, guys, thanks for the fucked up rescue mission and all, but where's Church?"

"Yeah, what happened to him after we left?" Blake asked.

"Oh, um, he's dead." Caboose replied.

"Shocker." Yang said.

"Yeah, I know that, Church has been dead for years, that never stopped him before!" Tucker replied."

"Oh, yeah, you don't know." Ruby said, remembering what they found out about their cobalt friend.

"Found out what?" Tucker asked.

"Oh, yeah, we also found out that he's...not a ghost...And he's an AI computer program, like Sheila." Caboose said. "Oh, Yeah! And Blake has cat ears!"

"C-Caboose!" Blake said, blushing furiously.

"Yeah, I knew that." Tucker replied.

"What?" The RWBYs said in disbelief.

"You did?" Grif said.

"Yeah, you guys didn't? F-Pay fucking attention! What the fuck're you guys paying attention to?" Tucker asked.

"Uh, I had my suspicions..." Grif replied.

"I...didn't want to make a scene." Weiss said

"Of course, I...just didn't wanna tell anybody." Sarge said.

"We were um...occupied with something!" Yang exclaimed.

"I still wanna know what Tucker is gonna do in between the two ladies." Caboose added.

"Me too, Caboose." Ruby said.

"Look, guys, I need your help. We either need to chase these guys off, or destroy this facility." Tucker said.

"Well we'ed love t-" Ruby started.

"Or pick up some chicks." Tucker interrupted.

"Really?" Weiss said.

"Old habits die hard." Tucker replied.

"But why destroy it?" Sarge asked.

"Orders. We can't let it fall into anyone else's hands." Tucker replied. "Plus breaking stuff is fucking awesome."

"Amen to that, brother." Yang said.

"This thing is that powerful?" Grif asked.

"Hell yeah!" Tucker said. "First they build these rings that were a huge weapon, then we found this powerful cube shaped weapon, and I guess this is the pyramid version."

"That ancient race sure built a lot of weapons." Grif said.

"You're not kidding." Blake said.

"I know!" Tucker added.

"I mean, did they really need to spend all their time building stuff to destroy the universe?" Grif asked. "Like, how 'bout the galaxy's biggest movie theater, or...like some kind of super advanced water park."

"Hmm, that's a good question, Grif." Ruby said.

"All work and no play, guys. Seriously." Grif said.

"No play. tell me about it." Tucker said.


	4. Epsilon

**Well I'm back with another chapter, sorry for the long wait. I got a request to put in team CFVY, but I'm not really sure, eight people is challenging enough. But, maybe I will add in Velvet, since she is one of my favorite characters. Enjoy chapter 4! Well, more like chapter 3, since chapter 1 is basically an introduction.**

As team RWBY, along with Grif, Sarge, Caboose, and Tucker talked, they started hearing huge banging noises coming from outside.

"The hell are they doing out there?" Grif asked.

"Yeah, all that noise is giving me a POUNDING headache." Yang punned, to which her teammates groaned.

"They've been trying to blast their way in here ever since I locked it down. They're not having much luck though." Tucker replied. He then turned to his side and shouted, "ARE YOU, FUCKIN' ASSHOLES?"

"Won't they break through soon though?" Ruby asked.

"Nah, this stuff looks like rock, but it's way tougher." Tucker said.

"What's tougher than rock?" Grif asked.

"Paper!" Caboose answered. Ruby smiled at his antics.

"No, silly, like metal." She said.

Tucker let out a small chuckle. "I dunno, some kinda super rock? What am I, some kinda geographist?"

"You mean geologist?" Blake asked.

"Why the hell do I care? All I know is that it's keeping them away!" Tucker said.

"They have some kinda big machine out there." Sarge said.

"Yeah, they just got that thing. I think THEY think they're gonna yank this door off with it. Not fuckin' happening." Tucker explained.

"I guess not." Yang said.

"They wanna get their hands on that weapon?" Sarge asked.

"Yeah, and we can't let them turn it on, no matter what happens." Tucker replied.

"Classic action movie plot." Yang said with a grin.

"Well why don't WE turn it on, and use it against them?" Sarge asked.

"Fuck! What? We don't know what it does! We could turn it on and it could make us all sterile!" Tucker exclaimed.

"Is that really all you're worried about?" Weiss asked.

"Would it do that?" Grif asked.

"Well, the last weapon we found was designed to wipe out all organic life in a HUGE radius."

"Yeesh." Yang said.

Grif whistled. " Wow. What's a...radius?"

"Seriously?" Ruby said.

"I dunno, they just made me learn this crap for my dumb job. Point is, don't touch anything. You hit the wrong button, you flip the wrong switch, we'll all be dead before you can say- Where's Caboose?" Tucker said, looking around.

"Uh, I don't think that's how that expression goes." Sarge said.

"No, I mean, where the fuck is Caboose?" Tucker clarified.

Everyone looked around.

"Huh, guess he's not here. Looks like he's given you a run for your money, right Pussy Cat?" Yang asked, turning to her side to see...nothing.

"Figures." She said, shrugging.

"Oh, yeah. He does have a habit of wandering off. He's been trying to rig equipment to do something." Sarge said. "That boy's not quite right, y'know?"

"You think?" Weiss asked.

"No, I don't think there's something wrong with him." Ruby said. "He's just a little...slow."

"What the-I just said not to touch anything, and you guys let him walk away to find equipment?" Tucker said. "What the hell is wrong with you? Man, I swear you guys have always been idiots, but this one takes the cake."

"Takes one to know one." Weiss remarked.

"HEY! He's on YOUR team, asshole." Grif retorted.

"Oh...right." Tucker said. "Hey, so-uh, if you guys aren't doing anything, you wanna go help me find Caboose?"

"Let's go." Sarge said, walking down a hallway.

"Yay! And Blake!" Ruby said, following him.

Yang tagged along, with Weiss behind Tucker and Grif.

"So embarrassing for you…" Grif said sarcastically.

"Just go find the guy!" Tucker said.

"So sad…"

"I fucked your sister."

Weiss scoffed at how unprofessional the two were being, before following them into the hallway.

-—-—-—-–-

Lopez crouched down, at work on his motorcycle, humming in his robotic tone. All of a sudden, Simmons came running down the hill, shouting his name.

"[No! I just fixed this.]" He said, fearing Simmons would break his work of art. "[This one is mine! Stay away!]"

"He's here! He's here!" Simmons shouted.

"[Who?]" Lopez asked.

"The bad guy- the one that wants to kill us!" Simmons replied.

"[You're going to have to be more specific than that.]" Lopez replied.

An explosion went off right at the top of the ramp. Gunshots were heard. They could see Pyrrha in the air, poised to strike down at the ground.

"The Meta! He's here!" Simmons explained.

"[What? Here? I thought he was dead."] Lopez replied.

"Oh geez, look out!" Simmons shouted. They crouched down just in time to dodge a grenade that whizzed past their heads.

"Son of a bitch!" Simmons exclaimed.

"Madre de dios!" Lopez shouted.

"Lopez, we need to help them! We need some big guns!" Simmons said.

"[Ok. That I can do.]" Lopez replied. They both started running toward the base.

"I'll grab the rocket launcher." Simmons said as Lopez ran into the base. "Just do whatever you can, Lopez! I'm trained to handle this weapon!"

Simmons grabbed the launcher, then jumped back towards where the grenade came from. It was quiet. No noises. No gunshots. No grenade explosions.

"...Lopez?" Simmons squeaked. "Anybody?"

Then, from around the side, he heard the signature growl of the mute terror. He watched as the Meta came right up along the side of the base into view.

"Alright, you bastard." Simmons said. "Prepare to get SIMMONSIZED!" He then launched a rocket...and it hit the jeep Lopez had been working on, which somersaulted over the Meta in a flaming wreck, who watched it. He then turned to Simmons and let out a growl.

"Well fuck me." The Maroon soldier said. The Meta loaded his grenade launcher, aimed, and….

 _Foosh! Foosh!_

Two rockets slammed into the Meta, who immediately ran. Out of the base came Lopez, holding a huge weapon. "[Did you seriously just say 'Simmonsized'?]"

"Lopez?" Simmons exclaimed.

"[Shut the fuck up. You broke my motorcycle again.]" Lopez replied.

Caboose and Blake stood inside of a strange room.

"Caboose, we should get back to the group." Blake said. "They could be worried."

"Shhh!" Caboose said. "Go play with your scratch post!"

Blake blushed. "Caboose, I don't use scratch posts."

"No! Bad kitty! Go! Outside!" Caboose whispered.

Blake let out a sigh. "What are we doing here?"

"Nothing!" Caboose said, before searching around.

"No." He said, moving to the next thing.

"No."

"Caboose, what are you looking for?" Blake asked. She was perplexed as to why he was acting this way. She always just thought of him as a lovable idiot, but now he was acting strange.

Caboose ignored her and moved to a corner, crouching down.

"Hmmm…"

-—-—-—-—-

Somewhere else inside the temple, Tucker, Sarge, Grif, Yang, Ruby, and Weiss were walking down a hallway. They could hear some person on a microphone try to negotiate with them.

"Just open the temple and you can leave! We'll take what we want and no one has to get hurt!" The voice boomed.

"Shut up, idiot!" Tucker shouted back. "I should've stabbed that fucking speaker while I was out there."

"Yeah, I thought that pounding on the wall was bad, now that voice is just giving me a huge migraine." Yang agreed.

"Caboose!" Grif called out.

"Blake!" Ruby shouted.

"Caboose, Blake where are you?" Tucker yelled out

"Hey Blue! Hope you're not dead! Now that there's two of ya, we finally have a fair fight!" Sarge said. "Come on out so we can kill ya!"

Blake walked over to the group.

"You aren't going to kill anyone." She said.

"Blake, where were you?" Ruby asked.

"I followed Caboose. He's acting…weird."

"Caboose is acting weird? Holy shit. Call the press." Grif said sarcastically.

Blake gave him an unamused look. "I mean, he's not like himself. He isn't talking or anything."

"He's been acting like that ever since we got to Valhalla." Sarge said.

They walked down the hall. Tucker stopped.

"What's wrong?" Yang asked.

"I hear something." Tucker said. He leaned against the corner, the group doing the same. They could hear Caboose talking.

"No, be quiet! See, you're gonna get me in trouble!" He whispered. Another voice talked back in a loud voice. "Trouble? Fuck that!"

"Who's he talking to?" Tucker asked.

"Beats me." Blake said. "There was just spare parts in that room."

"Oh, crap! Did somebody break into the temple?" Tucker said.

The sound of glass being shattered could be heard, and then Caboose started talking.

"Oh no, no! See, you broke that-See, that was your fault!"

The voice responded. "That-That was already broken."

"Hmm, I swear I heard that voice before." Weiss said.

Tucker took out his sword, and imitated a laser sound as he activated it.

"Alright, let's charge in there, and take these assholes out!"

"Wait...It does sound familiar." Ruby said.

"On my mark!" Tucker said. "That means when I say 'Go'!" He clarified.

"Y'know, that voice kinda does sound like someone we know." Grif said.

"Yeah, I find it annoying and degrading for some reason." Sarge added.

"Okay, just stop moving around! Hold still!" Caboose whisper shouted.

"I AM holding still, you're the one that's moving!" The voice retorted.

"Yeah, that sounds like-" Tucker began, before he was cut off by the voice.

"Get your hands off me! Fuckin' douche!"

"I-I'm sorry, Church!" Caboose apologised.

"Church?!" Everyone said, walking into the room. There, next to Caboose, was a flying, spherical object that looked as though it had an eye, and glowed light blue.

There was a long pause, before Caboose spoke up.

"I can explain."

The sphere turned to look at the group.

"Who the fuck are these guys?"

 **To Be Continued….**


	5. Idiots

**Back with Chapter 4 or 5, which ever you want to call it. While I have the chance to speak to all of you, how would you guys feel about a Rvb-Corpse Party crossover? Let me know. As a bit of an update, I finally got into contact with DocTokuMA, he was fine with it, as long as I had credited him.**

Inside Red Base, Simmons was building a barrier, while Lopez put down his rocket launcher and switched it for his battle rifle.

"Keep watching your motion trackers! This guy can turn invisible!" Simmons said.

"[Is that where he went?]" Lopez asked.

A loud roar was heard from outside.

"Woah! Did you hear that?" Simmons exclaimed.

"[I have something on my motion tracker.]" Lopez said.

"Yeah! It was loud!" Simmons responded."

"[No, you idiot! over there!]" Lopez said, aiming his rifle down the hallway. Simmons ran to his side, and did so as well. They both loaded their weapons, prepared to face…

"Hey guys! 'Sup?"

"Donut?" Simmons asked.

Simmons walked over.

"[Didn't you say this guy could change color?]" Lopez asked. He walked over, his rifle still trained on Donut.

"I just finished cleanin' up Blue Base! What's going on over here?" Donut asked.

"[I think we should shoot him just to make sure.]" Lopez said.

"What?" Simmons asked incredulously.

"Donut, that guy attacked me! I ran out of the base screaming!" Simmons explained. "Why didn't you help me?!"

"You guys seemed like you knew each other, I just thought you were catching up!"

"He was firing grenades at me!" Simmons shouted.

"Yeah, so? I thought that was an inside joke between the two of you!" Donut replied.

"What?! What kind of joke would that be?!" Simmons exclaimed.

"Well, how do I know? I've been gone a long time, Simmons!" Donut said.

"What?!" Simmons exclaimed again.

"In fact, it was clear that I didn't know the guy, so shame on you for not introducing us!" Donut added. "And quite frankly, I found the whole thing a bit rude!"

"WHAAAT?!" Simmons yelled out.

"RUDE."

"[Seriously, we could just bury him out back. We wouldn't even have to tell anybody.]"

 **DUNUNUNUNUNUNA TRAAANNNSIIIITIIIIOOOOONNNNNNNNNSSSSS!**

"Church?" Tucker asked. "You're telling me that thing is Church."

"Well, not exactly." Caboose said. "See, um, technically uh, this thing is, uh, just a memory of Church. His name is Epsilon."

Blake's eyes lit up. She remembered that name from when she, along with Church and Washington, snuck into the facility and recovered the A.I. fragment known as Epsilon.

"Epsi-Whatsawhat?" Tucker said.

"Me, dipshit!" Epsilon responded.

"Yep. That sounds like Church, alright." Yang said.

"Hey, no one asked you!" The A.I shot back.

"Yeah, uh see, he's a resident memory of the guy Church was based on, so he's kinda like… remembering himself. Yeah, Simmons can explain, y'know, much better than I can, probably."

"I thought it was a good explanation." Ruby assured him.

"Sounds like I have another reason to be glad Simmons isn't here again." Grif said.

The floating ball turned to Sarge. "Wait, I thought he was Simmons."

"No, he's Sarge!" Caboose clarified. "S-a-a-a-rge."

"I'm confused, not deaf, you idiot!" Epsilon said. "And who's the yellow one?"

"You mean Yang?" Weiss asked.

"No, the other one." The A.I replied.

"I'm not yellow, I'm orange!" Grif immediately stated.

"Yeah, then how did you know who I was talking about?" Church shot back.

"How come he remembers us, but not who we are?" Tucker asked.

"Why does everyone think I'm yellow! Seriously!" Grif exclaimed. "Didn't anyone have a box of crayons when they were a kid?"

"I dunno, it does kinda look more yellow then orange." Yang said jokingly.

"Oh, fuck off!"

"Oh, it'll come back to him. See, I've been telling him stories...About all of us…" He looked at Tucker. "Well, most of us."

"Is that what you've been trying to do all this time? Rebuild your buddy?" Sarge asked.

"Yes. No. Maybe. Which would make you less mad?" Caboose replied.

"Oh, Caboose." Ruby said, hugging him. "We're not mad!" She looked at Tucker, who had his arms crossed. "Well, I'm not, I think it's sweet that you tried to rebuild Church."

"Speak for yourself." Weiss muttered. "Personally, I found him to be quite annoying."

"I heard that!" The A.I shouted.

"Yeah, great." Tucker said. "So the only stuff he knows about us is what you told him?"

"Ahh, I see why that would be a problem." Blake said, remembering Caboose's…creativity.

"Why?" The A.I asked.

"Hohoh! Why?" Tucker said. "Okay, quick quiz. Who am I?"

"This oughta be good." Yang said.

"You're Captain Flowers, right? Your dead?" He turned to Caboose. "I've been meaning to ask you about that part, is he like, a zombie?"

"Eh, a good guess." Ruby said.

"Uh huh, and who is he?" Tucker said, turning to Grif.

"He's Griff, which is spelled with two 'f's." Church replied.

"God damnit! Ok, that's another thing!" Grif ranted.

"Yeah, Caboose was very specific about that second 'f'." The A.I said.

"Yeah, and what about the red guy?" Tucker asked.

"Well, if he's not Simmons, I guess he's Sarge. That would make him the gruff and regimented leader of the Red Team."

Everyone looked at him. "That actually seems pretty-" Sarge began, but Tucker cut him off.

"Just-give him a second."

"Which would also make him the captain of their pirate ship." Church finished.

"There it is." Tucker said.

"I am a good storyteller." Caboose added.

"Unfortunately..." Blake muttered.

"How are you gonna tell stories? You can't even read stories!" Tucker said.

"I can read!" Caboose replied.

"Why do I doubt that?" Yang asked.

"Caboose is the only person I know who got an illustrated field manual." Tucker said. "He's a moron."

"Well, it helps when the stories have pictures!" Caboose explained. "Duh!"

"True." Ruby said.

"For the first two months I worked with him, he thought you held grenades over your head, while they shot arrows at the enemy." Tucker recalled.

"That diagram could have been a lot more specific." Caboose replied.

Sarge chuckled. "Heh, you're lucky. As a recruit, Grif didn't even know what a grenade was! I called it a pineapple, and he swallowed it."

"Wow. That's dumb, even for Grif." Blake remarked.

"Yeah, well it tasted better than those MRE's you serve us!" Grif shot back.

"Grif! Show some respect! Do you know how many men died to develop those meals?" Sarge scolded.

"I can tell you exactly how many: Everybody who ever tasted one!" Grif answered.

"Nice one." Yang said.

"At least he doesn't kill everyone who suits up for your team." Tucker said.

"Oh, yeah. I don't think I really did that." Caboose explained.

"Then who did?" Tucker asked.

"Ok, stick with me on this one, right?" Caboose began. "What if Church… travelled back in time… using… Wyoming's special ability power-" Tucker cut him off.

"God, shut up! That's fucking retarded!"

"Ehh, it could have happened." Weiss said, thinking about the possibility of such a situation.

"Uhhh, you guys are idiots!" Grif exclaimed.

"What? What about you guys?" Caboose shot back.

"Who's the real idiot? The idiot, or the idiot who fights it?" Sarge asked.

"Guys, stop fighting!" Ruby said, though not one of the Blood Gulchers acknowledged her.

"What, dude? In either scenario, you're still an idiot!" Tucker remarked.

"Hmph. I would expect YOU to say something like that." Sarge said.

Team RWBY could only watch the four bicker like kids.

"Guys…" Ruby said. Yang put her arm around her shoulder, comforting her efforts.

"Wait… I think he's right!" Grif said.

"Shut up Grif! I always thought your armor was yellow too!" Sarge shouted. "Matches your personality."

"HEY! YOU SHOULDN'T BE MEAN TO PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR YOU, AND JUST WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!" Caboose yelled.

"Caboose, no one tries to do that but you!" Tucker shot back.

"I think you're ALL a bunch of idiots-" Sarge was cut off as everyone started talking to each other. The RWBYs looked absolutely miserable.

"Remind me why we came back…" Weiss asked.

"I forgot already." Blake replied.

"I wish they would just get along." Ruby said softly.

Then, all of a sudden,

"EVERYBODY, STOP!" Church yelled. Everyone went quiet, except for Caboose.

"I AM YELLING ABOUT THINGS-Okay, I guess we're done now."

Team RWBY and the color-coded soldiers listened to what Church had to say.

"Alright, listen guys. I may not remember everything right now, but it will come back to me, okay? I can feel it. But I do know this:" He began. "If we don't work together, and destroy this weapon, those guys outside are gonna kill a lot of people, and we can't let that happen."

"He's right." Blake said.

"Thank you." The A.I said. "So just for a moment, let's set aside our differences, and get to work solving this problem. Together."

"Yay, Church! Way to rally the troops!" Ruby exclaimed.

All of a sudden, Church started moving away while talking. "Being in charge is a tough task, but I'm a born leader."

"Uhh, Church?" Yang said. But Church kept talking.

"So if you follow me, I know I can get us through this. Are you with me?"

"Where are you going?" Grif asked.

"Uh, yeah I don't seem to have full control over my body yet." The A.I said as he started floating out of the room. "But that doesn't invalidate anything I said! I'm still the leader! Fuck-okay, I'll be right back! No one else take away the leader position while I'm gone!"

"Ok, bye." Caboose said.

"Yeah, see ya later, Winston Churchill." Sarge added.

"Couldn't we just hold him still?" Weiss asked.

"Eh, where's the fun in that?" Yang replied.


	6. What Memories?

**Hey, everyone. Sorry about that mishap. THIS is chapter 6!**

Simmons and Donut both stood outside the entrance to the base with their rifles aimed all around, waiting for the Meta to show up, with Lopez was right behind them. There was one problem though…

"I'm out." Simmons said.

"Me too." Donut said.

"Well, that's it. I guess we're done then." Simmons said.

"Yeah." Donut agreed. "Simmons, I have to say-" He was cut off when the familiar sight of team JNPR caught their eyes, walking over to them.

"Did you see him?" Pyrrha asked.

"Yeah, but only for a second. He turned invisible." Simmons replied.

"[Oh, look. It's the only sensible group of people I have ever met.]" Lopez said.

"Hey, Lopez." Jaune said to the robot.

"[Please take me with you.]"

"Who are these people?" Donut asked.

"Oh, Donut, this is Team JNPR. They are friends of team RWBY." Simmons explained.

"Well a friend of Team RWBY is a friend of mine! It's nice to meet you!" Donut said happily. "I'm Franklin D. Donut. But you can call me Donut."

"It's nice to meet you too, Donut." Pyrrha replied with a smile.

"Man, I can't wait to get to know you people! I can show you my room! I call it: 'The Donut Hole'!" Donut exclaimed.

"Uhh, ok?" Jaune said, feeling a little awkward at what this person had just said.

"He does that a lot." Simmons explained.

"As much as I would like to continue, I think we have more concerning issues at the moment." Ren said.

"He's right. We're out of dust rounds, and our auras can't take much more." Pyrrha added.

"Well that's great. We're out of ammo." Simmons said.

"Y'know, I never thought I'd go out like this." Donut said.

"Yeah, whatever. That's nice." Simmons replied.

"You're not curious how I thought I would go out?" Donut asked.

"No, no, not in the least." Simmons answered.

"How 'bout you? Did you think you'd go out like this?" Donut asked.

"Underequipped and surrounded by some people I hate? Yeah, that's pretty much how I pictured it ever since I got assigned to this unit." Simmons said.

"Aw, come on, you don't mean that." Jaune said.

"When you live with these people for as long as I have, you will understand." Simmons replied.

"You think we haven't dealt with crazy people?" Ren asked, motioning towards Nora.

"What? Why is everyone looking at me? Ren, I'm bored, can we break some legs? What's for lunch?"

"Point withdrawn." Simmons said.

"[I always thought I'd be taken out by poor maintenance.]" Lopez threw in his two cents.

"Lopez is right. We need to think of something!" Simmons exclaimed.

"Uhh, how can you tell what he says?" Jaune asked.

"[I want to hug you.]"

"Can we escape?" Donut asked.

"I don't see how, he's faster than us, and stronger than us." Simmons said.

"[Plus, somebody blew up our vehicles.]" Lopez added, turning towards Simmons.

"Good idea, Lopez!" Donut said.

"You understood what he said?" Simmons asked.

"Yeah! Highschool Spanish, remember?" Donut replied. "He said the Meta must have gotten here some way."

"[I did?]" Lopez asked.

"He did?" Pyrrha asked.

"We just need to find his vehicle and steal it!" Donut finished.

"That's a good idea, Lopez!" Simmons exclaimed."

"[It is? No it isn't.]" Lopez said.

"Uhh… yeah, good job Lopez." Jaune said, unsure if what Donut translated was true.

"Yay, Lopez!" Nora shouted.

"Okay, let's think. If you were a crazed lunatic, where would you hide a vehicle?" Simmons asked.

"In a tree!" Nora said.

"I think our opponent is a little more smart than that." Ren assured her.

"[Maybe he cloaked it. That's what I would do.]" Lopez suggested.

"A garage is too obvious, Lopez. We need to think of something crazier!" Donut replied, oblivious to what was actually said.

"[Stop translating for me!]" Lopez said.

"Crazier!"

"[That wasn't even a suggestion]"

"Well, clearly Lopez is having an off day, so let's just ignore him." Simmons said

"[Fuck you guys.]"

"I dunno, he sounds angry. Maybe you aren't translating correctly." Jaune suggested.

"[Take me away from these idiots. Please.]"

"So we're looking for some kind of vehicle… probably parked by Blue base."

"[You are talking as if there is a vehicle!]"

"How do we know he has one?" Pyrrha asked.

"[I will be your slave if you want.]"

"What if it only has two seats?" Donut wondered.

"Hmm… I didn't think about that." Simmons replied. "Hey, Lopez. Turn your ears off for a second."

"[What? Why would I do that]" Lopez said.

"Ok, are they turned off?" Simmons asked.

"[Yeah, they're off. That's why I can hear you.]"

"Okay, good." Simmons said, before whispering to the group. "If there's no room, we'll just leave Lopez. He's pretty much expendable, and they won't be able to get any information out of him anyways."

"I feel bad about it though. He's been so loyal." Donut pondered.

"Uhh, I think he can hear you guys." Ren said.

"So what? He's a robot. He has to be loyal. Dogs are loyal too, but that doesn't mean you can't eat them when you're stranded in an arctic outpost and Command can't get rations through because of a seasonal blizzard." Simmons replied.

Team JNPR all had looks of disbelief and disgust.

"That seems like a very specific example." Donut observed.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Simmons said. "Hey, Lopez. You can turn your ears back off."

"[CLICK. Oh, I can hear again. What a fucking miracle.]"

 **Transitions Transitions Transitions Transitions**

Meanwhile, inside the temple, Church was having some trouble controlling his new body.

" Woah. Halt. Cease! Uhhh...Abort that move! Fuck!" He cursed, as he kept floating away from the group, who tried to keep up.

"Church, wait!" Caboose said.

"Wait? I can't wait! I'm moving on my own!" Church replied. "Which I realize doesn't make sense when I say it out loud."

Finally, he stopped moving.

"Hey look, I figured out how to stop!" Church said.

"Wow, you figured out how to NOT move? You're a genius!" Tucker said in the purest form of sarcasm.

"Hooray for Church!" Ruby cheered. Weiss just scoffed and shook her head.

"Aw, check this out! I can go backwards, too!" The floating ball exclaimed. To emphasize his point, he hovered backwards while making sound effects.

"Oh-well now you're just bragging." Tucker scolded.

"Well it's important to me, asshole." Church shot back.

"I'm impressed. I can't go backwards." Caboose said.

"Stop patronizing me!" Church growled.

"Well, he's definitely starting to remember you." Tucker observed.

"No kidding." Yang agreed.

"I already know Caboose. He's the only guy who would talk to me while I was in the storage." Church replied.

"I don't feel jealous at all for some reason." Weiss muttered.

"You remembering anything else?" Tucker asked.

"I dunno, it's-ugh-it's like-fuzzy for some reason." Church said. "Maybe there's a file, or some kind of database I can access in here. Gimme a second." He then was quiet as he explored his new body.

"Yeah, rooting around in your brain seems like a great idea when you barely figured out how to move on your own." Tucker uttered sarcastically.

"In all this time, how did he go from a normal person, to an A.I, to a floating ball?" Blake wondered out loud.

"Um, hey-uh Tucker? Um-yeah, uh, Agent Washington told me that Church-I mean um-Epsilon, is-um-a little messed up." Caboose explained.

"Yeah. I can see that." Tucker replied.

"He means that Epsilon has some memories that he shouldn't access." Blake clarified.

"What kind of memories?" Tucker asked.

"Uh, yeah-see-some people did some bad stuff to him, and uh, he's kind of repressed...uh...a lot of uh...stuff. Do you know what a repressed memory is?" Caboose added.

"Yeah, Caboose. I've repressed almost every moment I've spent with you. I'm actually repressing this as we speak." Tucker replied.

"Well, thank you, that means a lot to me." Caboose said. Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

Church kept mumbling to himself, trying to figure out what he could do in his body. "Man, there is a lot of functions in here! I can't figure out what a tenth of these even do!" He exclaimed.

"Is nap a function? 'Cause that's my favorite-Oh! Also, eat ice cream." Caboose threw in his two cents. Ruby, Blake, and Yang giggled, while Weiss rolled her eyes. Was there no end to his childishness?

"That is so, stupid." Tucker said.

"Ah, you're right, technically that is a sub-routine of just plain eat."

The temple shook, and a large bang was heard.

"I wish those guys would just GIVE UP!" Tucker said, shouting the last part.

"Oh, hey, here we go! What does this do?" Church questioned. Everyone looked at him to see what he found. A click went off inside his spherical body, and from his eye came a projection of some sort.

"Ooh! A movie!" Ruby said.

"What is this? Some kind of training film?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Church replied.

"I love movies. Do you have Kramer Vs. Kramer in there?" Caboose asked.

As they watched, a floating ball similar to Church turned red. It then shot a huge laser from it's eye at some person.

"Ohohoh, holy shit!" Tucker said in awe.

"Okay, I have to admit, floating eye that shoots lasers is pretty cool." Yang said.

"Woah! I can do that?" Church asked. "I wanna do that! How do I do that?"

"You had a laser? That was fucking awesome!" Tucker exclaimed.

"Yes, it was quite impressive." Weiss confessed.

"I gotta figure out how to do that?" Church said.

"No! I told you guys not to touch anything! And now you're in some floating crap, who knows what that thing can do?" Tucker said. "Don't just go turning stuff on."

"Tucker's right. You could do more damage than intended to with something like that." Blake agreed.

Church didn't listen though. "Eeeehhh! How's that? Imma try like hrghhhhh!"

"Whoah, whoa! Definitely don't turn it on while you're looking at me!" Tucker said. "That eye creeps me out anyway."

"Well maybe if I can just access my long-term memory, I could figure out how these functions work." Church reasoned.

"Uh oh yeah, I don't know, see-uh-I think that maybe sounds like a bad idea, and I don't know if I would go-" Caboose started to say, but Church already had clicked on something.

"Church!" Ruby scolded.

"Of course he didn't listen." Blake said, face-palming.

"Uh-oh." Church said.

"What?" Caboose asked. "What happened?"

"Oh, great. He did something bad too." Yang said.

"Crap." Church said. "Instead of turning on my long-term memory, I think I just shut off my short-term memory."

"Wonderful." Weiss said with annoyance. "Now he forgets everything."

"Oh. Is that bad?" Caboose asked.

"Huh? Is what bad?" Church asked.

"Ohhh, this is not good." Blake muttered.

"Your memory thing that got shut off." Caboose said.

"Who shut off my memory?" Church asked.

"You did." Both Caboose and Ruby replied.

"I did what?"

"Uhh!" Ruby groaned.

"Shut off your memory." Caboose replied.

"Why do you want me to shut off my memory?" Church asked.

"This is just like talking to a brick wall." Weiss said.

"I dunno, I think the wall would at least be less annoying." Yang replied.

"No, it's already shut off." Caboose clarified.

"What is?" Church asked.

"Your memory." Caboose replied.

"Yeah, what about it?" Church asked.

"Wow. Well this is a drastic improvement." Tucker said.

"No kidding." Yang agreed.

"Hey! You!" Tucker said.

"Me?" Church asked.

"YES! You!" Tucker clarified. "Don't touch anything else, or try to activate any computer stuff!"

Church looked at Caboose. "Are you going to answer him?"

Weiss scoffed. They were...so...idiotic!

All of a sudden, the temple shook again with a loud boom. Ruby nearly fell over, but her sister steadied her.

"Thanks, sis!" Ruby said.

"No problem, sis." Yang replied.

"DID YOU HEAR THAT?!" Caboose yelled.

"Aw, crap!" Tucker shouted.

"OH MY GOD WHAT ARE WE YELLING ABOUT?!" Church screamed.

"I think they busted into the temple!" Tucker said.

"Aw fuck, that sounds bad where's the temple?" Church asked.

"This is so annoying." Blake said.

"Jesus Christ, don't let him talk to me anymore!" Tucker exclaimed.

"Ok, don't talk to him." Both Caboose and Church said to each other.

"Oh, no! Two Cabooses?" Weiss said. The thought of another childish idiot made her shiver.

"I can't fucking believe I have two of them now." Tucker said.


	7. A Good Day For You To Die

**Chapter 6/7! I'm trying to post chapters more often for you all. I appreciate all the support I've been getting. I can't believe how many of you read my story. It encourages me to continue writing and delivering chapters to the best of my ability. Thank you all!**

Back at Valhalla, Simmons was scouting outside Red base, making sure the coast was clear. He then walked back inside, to where the group was.

"Okay, here's the plan: We run straight for Blue Base. Keep your heads up, and stay in formation." Simmons instructed to Donut and Lopez. "Lopez, you take the lead."

"[Why do I have to be in front?]"

"Exactly. I'll follow you Lopez." Simmons replied.

"And I'll handle your rears!" Donut said. Team JNPR all blushed at the innuendo.

"Ookay, change of plans." Simmons said. "I'll be last, Lopez, you still go out on front."

"[Of course I'm in front.]" Lopez said, as they walked out of the base.

"We'll cover you if the Meta spots us." Jaune said.

"Good plan, partner." Pyrrha replied. Jaune smiled. They then went ahead of the group, and waited for the three color-coded soldiers to follow.

Simmons and Lopez stopped.

"Donut, you be the middle." Simmons instructed.

The lightish-red soldier moved to his given position. "It'll be a Donut sandwich! Mmh Mmh!"

"Damnit, Donut! You could ruin anything!" Simmons exclaimed. And with that, they moved out across the river. They stopped in the middle to check for the mute terror.

"Do you see anything, Lopez?" Simmons asked.

"[If I saw something, I would be shooting, dumbass.]"

"Well, keep your eyes open, then." Simmons responded.

"[Why do you guys always ask me questions if you never understand the answers?]" The brown robot asked as they started moving again.

"Be QUIET, Lopez! Gah, we've been over this!" Simmons exclaimed.

"[Goddamnit.]"

"Simmons! I'm scared!" Donut said.

"It's okay. We're all scared Donut." Simmons reassured him.

"[I'm not scared. I made backups of myself this morning.]"

 **Transiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttiiiioooonnnnnnsssssaaaaaaaa**

While Tucker and Caboose and Team RWBY went of in pursuit of Church, Grif and Sarge stayed behind.

"I knew it." Sarge said. "THIS WAS A TRAP!"

"What's a trap?" Grif asked.

"Don't you see, Grif? The Blues now have an advantage over us!" Sarge exclaimed.

"What, you mean they have a decent leader?" Grif replied.

"No, I mean that they have three people and we only have two!" Sarge said. "Approximately."

"You honestly believe that the Blues orchestrated all of this, to get a one man advantage." Grif deadpanned.

"Of course." Sarge replied. "They've been leading us along this entire time! It was all a diabolical scheme to get the drop on us! We just didn't see it until now, because it was so cunningly crafted!"

"We're talking about the same Blues here, right?" Grif asked. "There's not some 'other' group of Blues I haven't heard of?"

"Of course not!" Sarge exclaimed.

"Yeah, then no. You're wrong." Grif said. "The new dude; He's a floating ball. I don't even think he COUNTS as a person."

"Exactly!" Sarge replied. "He's a wild card! We don't even know what he's capable of!"

"He's a BALL!" Grif exclaimed. "He's capable of rolling. And maybe bouncing."

Just then, a huge explosion rocked the temple.

"Peter, Paul, and Ringo! What the heck was that?!" Sarge yelled.

"That did not sound good." Grif said.

The rest of the group, Team RWBY, Tucker, Epsilon and Caboose ran back in .

"Did you guys hear that?" Tucker asked.

"Hear what?" Grif said mockingly. "Of course we heard that, idiot!"

"Takes one to know one." Yang said.

"Aw, crap! I think they broke down the door." Tucker said.

"What? Who would do that-thing that you just said to the other thing?" Church asked.

"What's wrong with him?" Grif asked.

"A lot of things." Blake said, tired of Church and his short memory.

"He disabled his memory or something dumb while trying to unlock this massive laser eye he's got. I dunno." Tucker replied.

"Laser?" Grif said in disbelief.

Sarge growled. "See?"

"Who has a laser?" Church asked.

"Oh, great." Weiss said, covering her forehead.

"You do." Caboose clarified.

"I do?" Church asked.

"YES." Tucker said.

"That's awesome!" Church said. "I feel...great about whatever it is that we're talking about."

"Caboose, shouldn't you be killing him or something?" Tucker asked.

Caboose looked at Tucker for a moment, before walking over to the floating ball and hitting it.

"OW! Hey! Cut it out!" Church shouted.

"Tucker did it!" Caboose said.

"No he didn't jackass, you did!" Church shot back.

"Is it back?" Ruby asked.

"So you remember that?" Tucker asked.

"Why wouldn't I remember that?" Church replied.

"You don't remember WHY you wouldn't remember?" Tucker asked. "Then I guess you're fixed, fuck it."

"You guys never make any goddamn sense." Church said.

"Well that headache ended." Yang said.

"Only a matter of time before the next one comes." Weiss muttered.

"Yeah, that's OUR problem." Tucker said.

All of a sudden, they could hear CT barking out orders.

"Split up! You two, guard the entrance! Don't let them out!"

"Uhh, I think we have more pressing issues at the moment fellas." Sarge said.

"He's right." Tucker said.

"I thought you said they couldn't bust through the door!" Grif said.

"Yeah, you said it was impossible to break." Blake added.

"When did you guys start listening to me?" Tucker asked.

"A valid point." Blake replied.

"Everybody grab some cover!" Sarge said.

Everyone took positions. Tucker and Grif took a peek out the side of the doorway. A couple of the aliens they saw earlier entered the room they had been standing in.

"Shit, there's two of them!" Grif said.

"We got this." Ruby replied.

"No we don't!" Grif said.

"Grif, don't panic." Sarge said. "You've been trained for this!"

"This? I've been trained for this!?" Grif asked. "Being stuck in an ancient temple surrounded by mystic technology while being hunted by aliens from another planet!? This is what I've been trained for?!"

"Okay maybe not this specifically, but ELEMENTS of this, which when combined and liberally interpreted. Bear a close resemblance to this!" Sarge replied.

"NOT EVEN CLOSE!" Grif exclaimed.

"Aw, just shut up and fight!" Sarge shot back.

"Yeah, Grif. Show 'em who's boss!" Yang added.

"Oh, quit helping him!"

"TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR YOU TO DIE!" Sarge shouted, and with that, he and Grif charged out and shot one of the aliens. The other alien moved back and tossed a grenade into the hallway.

"Look out!" Grif shouted, as both he and Sarge moved back to cover, the grenade detonating behind them. At this point, Tucker whipped his energy sword out and stepped out behind the corner crouching.

"I just need them to get a little closer." He stated. Ruby pulled out Crescent Rose in sniper form, and aimed it down.

"I'll cover you." She replied. Tucker nodded, and started tiptoeing down the hallway.

"Heey Church?" Caboose said all of a sudden. "Are you doing that?"

Everyone turned to look at the floating ball.

"Doing what?" He asked. It was then he noticed that there was a metal box floating in the air right in front of him.

"No way." Yang said.

"Oh, cool! Am I?" He questioned. He looked at it, and the cube started to spin. "Oh, look I am! That's awesome!"

"What the fuck? When did you get telekinesis?" Tucker asked.

"You have teleportesis?" Caboose shouted. "Can you hear what I'm thinking right now?"

"TeleKINESIS!" Weiss clarified

"My guess would be...nothing."'

"Oh my god, TUCKER HAS IT TOO!"

"Look at this!" Church exclaimed. "This is kickass. I wonder what other powers I have. I could be the most powerful being in the entire universe!"

As he spoke, he suddenly dropped the cube he was levitating and started moving sideways.

"I'm like a superhero!"

"Where are you going!" Tucker asked.

"Oops-uh, yeah, I seemed to have lost control of my body again." Church replied.

"Nice." Yang said.

"Yeah...Some superhero." Tucker added. "You fucking dick."


	8. Facing our Enemies

**Chapter 8 is a go! Before this chapter starts, I just want to say that I do in fact have plans to continue it beyond Recreation. I will not be doing S9, however, as that's really just all flashbacks and Church's head, therefore I don't see Team RWBY or JNPR playing that much of a role. I think that I am most looking forward to writing the Chorus Trilogy, as I personally think it is the best story arc in Red vs Blue. This does not mean, however, that I will be putting less effort into these chapters that revolve around Recreation and Season 10.**

 **Update: While I was writing this chapter, we just hit 10,000 views! Thank you all very much. The amount of support this story is getting is insane, and it means a lot to me!**

Inside the temple, the Reds and Blues, along with Team RWBY were in a bit of a situation.

"Grif, listen. We may not both make it out of this." Sarge said over the sound of chaingun fire. If you die, I think I'm prepared to live with that. I've practiced it a lot!"

"I'm sure you have, Sarge!" Yang replied, as she popped out of the corner and shot back a few rounds from Ember Cecilia.

"But there's also a chance that you might survive and I won't!" Sarge said.

"There'd be a better chance if you'd HELP ME SHOOT." Grif shot back.

"In case I don't make it, I can't help but think about all the future mistakes you're gonna make, that I'm not gonna be there to scream at you about!"

"Oh stop. I'm getting all teary-eyed." Grif said with sarcasm, as he reloaded his rifle.

"Is this really the time to have side-conversations?" Weiss snapped, as she narrowly avoided a bullet.

"I just wanna let you know that at my bunk back at the base, there's a recorder deck." Sarge explained. I've pre-recorded about fifty-seven hours of rants that should be applicable in a variety of situations."

"You want to be able to nag at him from beyond the grave." Blake deadpanned.

"Shhh! They're having a heart-to-heart!" Ruby whispered.

"Whenever you're feeling good about yourself, I want you to play one and ALWAYS remember: somebody hates you."

"Ok, great heart-to-heart." Blake said, as Ruby rolled her eyes.

Everyone stopped, as they saw Church float into the room where the alien was shooting from.

"Church!" Ruby shouted.

"Oh, hey, alien. What's up?" The A.I asked it.

"Oh, great. He's getting himself killed." Weiss said.

The alien stopped firing, and then, to the amazement of their opposers, crouched down and bowed its head.

"Cease fire!" Tucker yelled.

"Are you crazy? That thing tried to kill us!" Weiss said, as the group ran out to the room.

"Um, the alien's being weird in here!" Church said,

"What's it doing?" Grif asked.

"Maybe it's a trick?" Yang suggested.

"No no, I've seen this before." Tucker explained. "Some of the aliens worship this ancient technology. This one probably thinks Church is some sorta god."

"Great, you gave him something else to brag about." Blake groaned.

"Wow! Seriously!? That's pretty fucking cool." Church said.

Caboose gasped. "Maybe that's why your name is Church!" Weiss, for the fortieth time today face-palmed.

"Oh what's up praying-dude?" Church said, levitating a metal box. "How d'ya like me now?" He then threw the box at the alien, killing it.

"What the fuck? Why did you do that?" Tucker asked. "I think that's taking advantage of your deity status, dude!"

"Yeah, it was worshipping you! Not cool!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Well what good is being a god if you can't smite some people? Let's have fun."

"Church," Blake began, "First of all, you aren't a god; You are a computer program. Second, I wouldn't consider killing an innocent species fun."

"What do you mean, innocent? It was shooting at us!" Grif said.

Before they could argue further, a gruff-sounding voice shouted out:

"The shots came from down here!"

Then, the familiar voice of CT.

"Right, form up, men!"

"Whoa, incoming." Sarge said.

"Let's finish this." Ruby said, as her teammates readied themselves for another firefight.

"Good luck, guys!" Epsilon said, floating away.

A large number of human soldiers and aliens filled the room, followed by CT.

"Freeze! Lower your weapons!" CT ordered.

"Not a chance!" Yang shot back.

CT turned to Tucker.

"You...Do you have any idea how much trouble you caused me? I should kill you right here!"

"And what if we disagree?" Blake said with as much venom as she could muster.

CT snarled and turned to the four.

"You think I'm afraid of killing little girls, missy? I don't play games."

"Neither do we." Weiss said.

"Then I guess I'll just have to kill all of you." CT replied.

"Somebody's getting killed? I wanna watch." Church said, popping into view.

"You activated it?" CT exclaimed.

"It has a name!" Ruby shot back.

"Activated what?" Church asked.

"Secure the relic! Don't let it get away!" CT barked to his soldiers. "And if the pretty princesses get in your way, shoot them."

Team RWBY all braced themselves for a fight. A soldier walked up and held out some sort of gun.

"Oh cool pistol, green's my favorite color." Church commented.

"Not now!" Yang said.

The pistol glowed green, before shooting a projectile at Church.

"HEEZAGERBO!" The ball yelled out, as it fell to the floor.

"Church! No!" Ruby yelled.

"Church!" Caboose exclaimed.

"You'll pay for that!" Yang shouted.

"Yes!" CT said. "Great shot, Jones!"

"Thanks!" The soldier replied. "But it's actually pronounced Jo-annis, sir-"

He was cut off, as a purple alien beside him struck him with his pistol, making him fall to the floor.

"What the-Smith! What are you doing?" CT cried, as the alien kept hitting the soldier.

"Oh, yeah! Aliens are on our side!" Yang said with a grin.

The rest of the aliens turned towards their human comrades, and fired upon them.

"What's happening?" Sarge exclaimed.

"I think the aliens don't like their human buddies beating up on their religious artifacts!" Tucker explained.

"Looks like good news for us!" Blake commented.

A firefight ensued. The human soldiers ducked for cover, as the combined firepower of the aliens, Team RWBY, and the Reds and Blues overwhelmed them immediately. In the midst of it, CT picked up Church, and ran out of the temple.

"He's getting away!" Ruby said, pointing at CT.

"Let's go!" Tucker replied.

"Wait!" Caboose exclaimed. "We need to grab Church!"

"That guy in brown armor grabbed him!" Grif said.

Outside, CT ran to the digger.

"Cover me until I'm clear!" He ordered his men. Getting on a Warthog, he sped off, with two men following close behind in a Mongoose.

The lead alien, Smith, ran out of the temple, and to thoe side. Then came Team RWBY and the simulation troopers.

"There he goes!" Grif yelled. "Everybody get in the jeep!"

"We gotta get that thing turned over!" Sarge said.

"I'll do it." Caboose said. The team was surprised to see Caboose flip it over with little to no effort.

"Wow, you ARE strong!" Sarge commented.

"You've been pumping iron, Caboose?" Yang asked, impressed to see how easily he lifted the jeep.

Grif got in the driver seat, while Sarge rode shotgun, and Caboose mounted the turret.

"We'll stay back." Yang said. "There's not enough room."

"I'll run alongside!" Ruby said.

"Ok, be careful, Sis." Yang replied.

"Is this thing even gonna start?" Grif asked.

"Hopefully." Sarge replied. "C'mon, Chupababy!"

The jeep started, and they drove off, with Ruby following behind, leaving a trail of rose petals. They could see Tucker go over the side of the temple.

"Tucker! Where are you going?" Caboose yelled.

"There's no room for me! I'll be right back!" He said.

Meanwhile, back at Valhalla, the group walked together up to Blue base.

"Ok, look for anything that looks like a vehicle. It may have wheels, and/or seats." Simmons explained.

"[We know what a vehicle looks like!]" The Spanish robot exclaimed.

"Uhh, yeah, thanks, Simmons, I know what a vehicle looks like." Jaune replied.

"Stay calm, don't panic." Simmons said.

"[You're the one who's panicking!]"

"Lopez is right, maybe we should panic!" Donut said.

They finally got to the base.

"I'll try back here, it has to be-oh!" Simmons began, but was cut off as something bumped into him, and sent him flying back. From where he got hit, a blue light materialized, before revealing a Warthog.

"Somewhere..." He moaned.

"What the heck was that?" Donut asked. "What? Invisible car? That's too cool." Donut remarked.

"Hmm. I guess it would make sense as to how he managed to hide it." Pyrrha added.

"The Meta must have cloaked it." Simmons stated.

"[Told you so.]"

"I've never seen anything like this before either, Lopez." Simmons replied.

"Còjale!"

"Okay, everybody hop in. Let's get the fuck out of here!" Simmons exclaimed,

"Uhh, how are we gonna fit?" Nora asked.

"Uhh..."

Back in the desert, the chase was on. CT was going full speed, with Sarge, Grif, Caboose and Ruby in hot pursuit.

"There he goes!" Sarge yelled.

"Uh, yeah, I see him." Grif replied.

"Well see him faster!" Sarge said.

"Look out for the guys behind us!" Caboose exclaimed. Ruby took a quick peak and saw the two soldiers on a motorcycle following behind.

"How can I look out for the guys that are behind us?" Grif shot back. Rockets whizzed over the jeep, as the chase continued.

"I'll take care of them!" Ruby said. She stopped, and pulled out Crescent Rose, then, using a gunshot to propel her, slammed it into the ground, creating a crack in the earth towards the motorcycle.

"Oh, shit! Look out!" The gunner exclaimed. The driver responded by taking a sharp left, avoiding the cracks. The gunner then took out his assault rifle, and began shooting Ruby. She dodged each bullet with precision.

"Ignore her! CT needs our help!" The driver shouted.

"Right!" Came the reply from the gunner. They then sped off after the two Warthogs.

"I'm not done with you yet..." Ruby said, before sprinting after them. As they caught up, the gunner fired another rocket at Sarge, Grif, and Caboose. This one, however, missed it's mark, and nearly hit CT.

"Don't shoot me!" CT scolded, as he turned his vehicle around. "Shoot at them!"

As Grif maneuvered the jeep to turn around towards CT, the men in the motorcycle shot past them, putting themselves in-between their jeep and CT's. The chase then proceeded, with the gunner of the motorcycle trying to hit their jeep. They then flew off a sand s

dune, making the motorcycle turn over, and allowing Grif, Sarge, and Caboose to get in front of them. From around the corner, Ruby could see the aliens moving into the scene with their own vehicle. It was some kind of hovering craft, with a turret mounted on back.

"Caboose! Charge that cannon!" Sarge yelled.

"Okay! Ready!" Caboose said.

"Fire!"

The cannon shot, but missed. Then, their vehicle stopped dead in its tracks.

"Aim!"

"The engine died!" Grif exclaimed.

Ruby came hustling over.

"Those guys just won't give up!" She said.

The alien vehicle moved ahead of them, in pursuit of CT.

"Look! Aliens! Well they must be here to help!" Caboose exclaimed.

"They're going after CT! Grif, get the engine started!" Sarge ordered.

"Uh, Sarge?" Grif said, before a rocket whizzed past the front windshield.

"Uh oh."

Sure enough, the motorcycle soldiers stood parked right beside them. The gunner loaded another rocket, took aim, and...

"Hey assholes!" Tucker's voice echoed off in the distance. All of a sudden, The aqua soldier came speeding of the edge of a sand dune, piloting some sort of vehicle, similar to the one the aliens had.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" He cried, as he came closer and closer to the motorcycle crew-

"Fuck."- And ran straight into a wall that was right behind them, missing them completely.

"Cannon's charged." Caboose said.

"Ok, then, fuck it. Just shoot 'em." Sarge replied. And with a big boom, the cannon fired and hit its target.


	9. The End of The Beginning

**Chapter 9, start!**

Tucker drove his vehicle over to Grif, Sarge, Caboose, and Ruby.

"Hey guys, sorry about that."

"Tucker where did you get that?" Caboose asked.

"Yeah! It looks pretty neat!" Ruby exclaimed.

"No! This is my ride! The aliens gave it to me as a gift. Pretty fucking cool." Tucker replied.

"Did they give you driving lessons too?" Grif asked.

"No, we kinda skipped that part, but it looks awesome!" Tucker replied.

All of a sudden, CT popped out of the corner of some of the ruins.

"There he is!" Caboose exclaimed.

"You guys follow him! I'll cut him off!" Tucker said.

"I'll stay behind." Ruby said. "I keep forgetting my aura isn't as strong here as on Remnant."

"We can't lose Church!" Caboose replied.

"We won't!" Tucker yelled.

"You always say that but we always do!"

Meanwhile, in Valhalla, Simmons was having trouble with the newly-found jeep.

"Goddamnit. It won't start." He cursed.

"That's not good." Ren stated.

"Ehh, we weren't gonna fit in it anyways." Jaune replied.

"[He probably removed the starter. That's what I would do.]"

"Hmm. It looks like he disabled the starter." Simmons said.

"[Really, no shit.]"

"What do we do?" Donut asked.

"[Stay in there! We'll push the car. You pop the clutch!]" The spanish robot replied, as it moved to the back of the jeep.

"It's no good. We can't do anything!" Donut exclaimed.

"[Seriously. We only need to push it about ten meters!]"

"All hope is lost!"

Then, from the cliffs, came the mute terror.

"Oh no! The Meta!" Simmons exclaimed. Team JNPR all readied their weapons.

"Oh mierda!"

"What are we gonna do without any ammo? We're trapped!" Donut said, panicking.

"Our auras are drained." Pyrrha explained. "This may be it."

"Ha! This thing always has ammo!" Simmons said, getting on to the turret.

"[You won't be strong enough to turn it on without power]"

The Meta advanced forward, as Simmons started up the gun. He couldn't move it around, unfortunately, and it proved to be futile.

"Fuck." He cursed.

"[Maybe you can convince him to stand in front of it.]" Lopez said sarcastically.

"What?" Simmons asked.

"He said 'maybe you can convince the Meta to stand in front of it'." Donut translated perfectly.

"What a stupid plan Lopez, try to actually help." Simmons said.

"Yeah, Lopez!" Nora chimed in.

"[Come on. Really? THAT was the one thing you understood?]"

"I agree, Lopez. Pencils are great."

Meanwhile, in the desert, the chase was back on.

"Caboose, what are you doing back there, shoot 'em!" Sarge yelled to the blue idiot.

"Okay!" Caboose said.

"No, don't shoot 'em, you'll stall the jeep!" Grif exclaimed.

"Okay!" Caboose said.

"Grif, you drive! Don't give Caboose directions!" Sarge scolded.

"Okay!" Caboose said.

"Caboose, don't answer for Grif!"

"Okay!"

Then, Tucker came on to the scene, flying over a sand dune, and jumping out, pulling his energy sword. The cannon on the Warthog fired, missing again.

"Jeep's stalled." Grif reported.

"Sound's like user error!" Sarge exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's what it is." Grif said sarcastically.

Tucker was now directly in CT's way.

"Gotta time this..." Tucker said, as the jeep got closer. "Now!"

He swiped, and then sidestepped. The jeep immediately grounded to a halt, before exploding spectacularly, sending CT flying.

"Whoa!" Grif exclaimed. "Tucker, look! He's still alive!" He said, as CT stood up and ran up the top of some ruins.

"I'll get CT, you guys find Church!" Tucker said.

"Okay!"

Up the hill came Team RWBY.

"Hey guys! Sorry we're late!" Yang said.

"CT went up that hill!" Sarge said, pointing to it.

"Aw, like I'm gonna miss out on a chance to pummel that twerp!" Yang exclaimed, before following Tucker.

"I'll come along, aswell." Blake said.

"Church! Where are you?" Caboose asked, as he looked around in the wreckage. Ruby came up behind him with a concerned look on her face. _Please, please let him be alive._ She thought.

Tucker and Yang ran up to the top of the structure.

"Where the hell did he go?" Tucker asked.

"Beats me." Yang replied. From behind, they heard a gun cock.

"Freeze!" CT yelled from behind.

"Damn it!" Tucker cursed.

"Oh, this isn't good." Yang said.

"Tucker!" CT shouted, as he moved forward, while Tucker and Yang moved back. "I should have killed you the second I laid eyes on you. I would have been long gone if you hadn't interfered." Tucker stopped, and nudged Yang, gesturing to behind them. They were now at the edge of the structure. One more step, and they would fall.

"Okay, dude. I guess you got me. I've got nowhere to go." Tucker said.

"Yeah, same here." Yang added, playing along. "We give up."

"Just tell me one thing though." Tucker said. "Who are you really, and who sent you here?"

"Sorry." CT replied. "You'll never know."

All of a sudden, from below hovered up the blue ball himself, Epsilon.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked.

"What in the hell is that thing?!" CT exclaimed.

Church's single eye then started to turn red, and began to light up.

"Oh...Son of a..."

A beam of light hit CT, and went right through him, killing him instantly.

"I am not a thing!" Church shouted. "My name is Leonard Church, and you will fear my laser face!"

"Ooh, hell yeah, you just got fucked UP!" Tucker exclaimed.

"That's probably the single most greatest thing I have ever seen in my entire life." Yang said.

"Wow!" Caboose said, as he and the rest of the group came up to the top. "Now that was awesome!"

"That was soooo cool!" Ruby squealed. "You were all like, 'Taste my laser!' And he was all like, 'Ahhh! No!'" She continued rambling on.

"Yeah...Awesome..." Grif said.

"Church, how did you do that?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah." Ruby agreed. "Tell us! What does it run on? Does it run on sunlight? Or dust? Oh, wait, you guys don't use dust here."

"I don't really know, I just got really mad and it just kind of, y'know...Happened." Church said.

"Reminds me of someone." Weiss said, looking at the blond brawler.

"Yeah...I get that sometimes." Yang replied.

"Can you do it again? Like to the yellow guy or something?" Tucker asked.

"I guess...I'm not really sure." Church said.

"Church!" Blake scolded. "You aren't lasering Grif!"

"Fine, what about Sarge?" Church asked.

"No!" She said. "You're not lasering Sarge!"

"What about Cab-"

"NO!" The rest of Team RWBY yelled.

"I got a bad feeling about this." Sarge said.

"For once Sarge, you and I agree." Grif replied.

"Look guys, we need to keep our head in the game. Let's get back into that temple, and close it down for good." Tucker said.

"Right." Weiss said. "Where should we start?"

"Um, guys?" Caboose said, gesturing to the entrance to the temple. "I think we might have a problem with that."

Everyone looked to where he was pointing, to see a bunch of the aliens outside, looking directly at them.

"Uh oh." Church said.

Meanwhile, back in Valhalla, the Meta continued it's advance on the color-coded soldiers and their friends. All of a sudden, A familiar grey-and-yellow soldier came into view.

"Agent Washington!" Simmons exclaimed. "It's Agent Washington!"

"Who?" Donut asked.

Team JNPR was now filled with hope. Was Agent Washington here to help them with their dilemma?

"Stop right there!" Washington called to the Meta.

"Yes! We're saved!" Simmons exclaimed.

"Go, Wash!" Nora cheered.

Washington walked up to the Meta.

"Stand down. I'll take it from here." He ordered. The Meta growled its response.

"I said, back off!" He barked.

"What, what's happening?" Simmons asked.

"Where is it?" Wash asked.

"Where is what? Why aren't you two fighting?" Simmons responded.

"The Epsilon unit, I know you have it. Give it to me." Washington replied.

"Wash?" Pyrrha asked in disbelief.

"[I thought this guy was your friend?]" Lopez said.

"Wait, wait, wait. You're working with the Meta?" Simmons asked.

"Don't make me repeat myself." Washington replied.

"Wash..." Jaune said.

"[Would someone explain what's going on?]" Lopez asked.

Then, to the shock and horror of both Simmons and Team JNPR, Washington took out his pistol, and put a round into the brown robot.

"Oh my god! He just shot Lopez!" Donut exclaimed.

BANG!

The front windshield of the jeep cracked. Pyrrha, Jaune, Ren, Nora, and Simmons looked in absolute disbelief, as they turned to their pink friend.

"Donut?" Simmons asked.

"Hey, Simmons? I think he shot me too! Uhhh!"

"Donut! No!" Simmons shouted, as his body hit the floor with a sickening thump.

"Y-You..." Pyrrha tried to say.

"Donut, Donut, are you okay? Come on, breathe, Donut, breathe!"

Everything was completely blurred to team JNPR. The sounds of Simmons shouting couldn't be heard over the sickening realization. Washington was betraying them. After everything that they had gone through. Everything. They helped him and South get on good terms, they stood by him while he tried to find the Meta and end him. One question seemed to stick in every one of their minds.

"Why?"

"Now, Agent Washington. I just have one more question for you."

"Agent Washington..."

"Agent Washington! Are you listening to me?"

"Hmm? Yes, I'm listening."

"Agent Washington, when you find these blue soldiers that you're talking about, and perhaps even this Team RWBY or JNPR, what makes you think they're just going to give you the Epsilon unit when you ask them for it?"

"For as long as I can remember, I've been lied to, taken advantage of, shot in the back, and left for dead. And now, I have a way out of all of this. What in the HELL makes you think I'm going to ask for it?"


	10. Ashes to Ashes

**Guest: I don't think that I will be doing these editions, as I already have a good idea of what I'm planning for the Chorus Trilogy. Thank you for the suggestions, though.**

"Come in command. Come in command! This is Medical Officer Dufresne. I have arrived at Freelancer Program Simulation Outpost Seventeen."

"Command? Come in? Come in, this is Medical Officer Dufresne. I have reached FPS Outpost 17."

"Hey! Down here, we're over here! Hey, come down here!" Simmons shouted.

"Never mind Command, I think I see the objective." Doc said into his helmet. "Stupid radio doesn't work anyway. What else is new."

He walked on over to Simmons.

"Holy cow, Simmons, is that you?!" Doc asked.

"Oh, hey Doc. Man, I didn't know they'd send you." Simmons replied.

"Yeah, we got the radio call and I was the closest medic so they sent me." Doc said. "But I didn't know it'd be you guys! Small galaxy, huh? Man, we've got a lot of catching up to do. So what's up, somebody hurt or what? What's going on?"

"Him." Simmons said, gesturing towards a familiar pink-armored soldier.

"Him?" Doc asked. "Um, he's dead." Doc stated.

"Yeah, he is." Simmons replied. "He was shot."

"Um, Simmons," Doc began, "I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, and I have increased my skill as a medic in that time, but dead is still pretty much outside my jurisdiction."

"Man, I just didn't know they'd send you." Simmons said.

"Yeah, you said that already." Doc replied. "Hey is everything okay with you?"

"It's not my fault, Doc." Simmons said suddenly. "I-I had to make the call, they made me. They needed someone with medical training."

"What're you talking about?" Doc asked.

"I didn't mean for you to get involved, I'm sorry, really." Simmons continued.

"Sorry about what?" Doc asked. Then, a low growl caught his attention from behind, which made him turn around.

"Uh-oh."

There was the Meta, and right next to him, Washington.

"He's sorry about us."

WHACK!

Meanwhile, in the desert, Team RWBY, along with Tucker, Grif, Sarge, Caboose, and the AI Epsilon were just catching up on what had happened between when the huntresses left and when they came back. Blake and Tucker stepped out to go see what Grif was doing.

"Hey Grif, what's up?" Tucker asked.

"Hm?" Grif said. "Oh. Hey Tucker. Hey Blake."

"What're you doing?" Tucker asked.

"Well, Sarge told me to bury all the bodies from our battle." Grif said.

"Interesting." Blake remarked.

"That's a lotta graves." Tucker said. "Lotta holes to fill. Bow chicka bow wow."

Blake rolled her eyes at Tucker's innuendo.

"And now I can't find 'em because the bodies were piled up over here, by these stone pillars, and then the wind came and blew sand all over the damn things." Grif continued.

"So I guess they're already buried. Good job dude." Tucker replied.

Grif paused, then turned to the aqua-colored soldier. "I like the way you think."

Blake smirked. It was nice to see the idiots get along for once.

"Grif, what the hell are you doing up here?" Sarge yelled as he walked over, followed by the rest of Team RWBY. "I thought I told you to bury those..." He paused, and then looked, seeing nothing. "Bodies. What?"

"He did!" Tucker exclaimed. "He buried the shit out of them, look."

"What the-I only gave you that order five minutes ago. How'd you do it so fast?" Sarge questioned. He turned to Tucker and Ruby. "Did one of you help him?"

"Nope!" Ruby said.

"Help him?" Tucker asked. "Dude, we've been fighting for like eight years, haven't you learned anything about me yet? I'm a lover, not a digger."

"Are you now?" Yang said.

"Yeheah, maybe he woulda helped me if some of the bodies were dead ladies." Grif replied.

Everyone looked at him in astonishment at what he had said.

"Grif?!" Blake asked in disbelief.

"And I realize that sounded a lot creepier than what I intended." He finished.

She let out a sigh of reassurance. They were idiots, alright.

"Well, does someone wanna say a few words?" Sarge asked.

"Words?" Grif repeated.

"Yes, these men were soldiers." Sarge replied. "Even if they were enemy soldiers, they still deserve a eulogy."

"How about: You tried to kill us, and we kicked your butts?" Yang offered.

"Well don't look at me, I'm a lover, not a talker." Tucker said. He turned to Grif. "Hey dude, you wanna make another sex with dead people joke?"

"No, I think I hit my quota." Grif replied.

"Well what about your buddy mister cult leader?" Sarge asked.

"So, then was one guy, said some things to another guy, and the people liked it. And that's pretty much that."

The floating orb kept on moving, while the aliens followed him.

"It's not his fault." Tucker said. "Those aliens just worship this ancient technology, and the people who made it. What's a brother gonna do?"

"Who in Sam Hell worships technology?" Sarge asked.

"Are they from the Internet?" Grif added.

"The what?" Yang asked.

"It doesn't matter." Grif said.

"Yes, this is just very interesting." Caboose, in the back of the line rambled. "I understand everything that is being said. Good."

"Caboose, what are you doing? Get out of there!" Tucker yelled at him.

"It's not fair! I worshiped Church, way before it was cool to worship him." Caboose said.

"Hey, I already told you, that's still not cool." Grif interjected. "That will never, be cool. Ever."

"Agreed." Blake said.

"Oh hey there guys." Church said, floating over. "How's life among all the non-deities? Pretty lame I bet! Pretty sure none of you've been worshipped all day. Weak!"

"Oh, I don't know," Yang remarked, smiling and tousling her hair. "I think I've seen my fair share."

"Do ya think you guys might be milking this just a bit?" Sarge asked.

"Yeah. It's getting real annoying, real fast." Weiss agreed.

"Hey, do you want to tell the big group of deadly aliens that they're mistaken and he's not who they think he is?" Tucker said.

Blake looked over at the aliens. One of them tilted its head at her and leveled its weapon.

She immediately looked the other way.

"Hm, I see your point." Sarge said. Then he turned to the crowd. "Hey, your circular holiness! How about delivering the eulogy? We're buryin' most of these guys 'cause of you anyway."

"Me?" Church replied. "I only lasered one guy."

"Which was awesome." Caboose added.

"I know it was, right?"

"So cool. The laser came out of your face."

"Have you been able to figure out how you did that yet?" Tucker asked.

"No, I think it's just because I got really mad." Church said. "Hey, say something to make me angry. See if it happens again."

"Why would-" Ruby tried to say, but was immediately interrupted.

"You're ugly and nobody likes you." Tucker blurted out.

"Tucker!" Ruby scolded.

"You're annoying and your team sucks."

"Gri-oh, forget it."

"Your ego is larger then the CCTV tower."

"Weiss!"

"Hey, if they can do it, so can I." She replied with a smirk.

"You're round and you can't wear pants." Caboose finished.

"You guys came up with all that really quickly." Church remarked.

"Eh, it pays to be prepared. Did it work? Are you pissed?" Tucker asked.

"No, I think I'm actually kinda depressed now." Church replied. "Caboose is right. I can't wear pants."

"Out of what was said, I'm surprised you chose to get depressed by what Caboose said." Yang said.

"Well I only said it because everyone is thinking it." Caboose added.

"Maybe mad makes a red laser, and depressed'll make a blue laser." Tucker said.

"Well I hope we don't find out what makes a brown laser."

"You idiots shut up." Sarge growled.

"Takes one to know one." Weiss muttered.

"Hey Globey, you makin' a speech or ain't ya?" Sarge asked.

"Hey sure no problem." Church replied. "I did a sermon just the other day that the aliens loved."

"Sermon? You just read them the setup guide to our Inkjet printer." Tucker said.

"Yeah, and they eat that gadget stuff up." Church replied. "You gotta know your audience buddy."

"How is it possible that ever since Caboose revived you, you can't remember anything except how to be a jackass?" Grif asked.

"Some things are hardwired." Tucker muttered.

The group went over to the other side with the aliens.

"Attention true believers." Church said, gesturing to the aliens and Caboose. "And...other people. We are here today to pay our final, and our first, respects, to the dearly departed. But first, I'd like you all to join me in a song, in honor of me."

"Please no." Weiss whispered.

"Skip it." Everyone said.

"Fine." Church relented. "Okay, uh, in the beginning there was darkness. And uh, out from the darkness came a voice. And it said..." He focused his attention on something in the distance.

"Church?" Blake asked.

"And it said...Uh...Uh-out-out from the darkness came...Out from the darkness..."

"Is his playback skipping?" Grif asked.

"I don't know." Tucker replied.

"Maybe he needs a reboot." Sarge said. "Good thing I wore my boots. I'll reboot him right in the keister. Hheh heh."

Team RWBY saw that something was definitely wrong with Church. But what?

"Out from the darkness came uh, someone. I'll be right back." He floated away, over the aliens, and over the sand dune.

"Church? Wait!" Blake called after him, running.

"Blake!" Ruby shouted.

"Leave her." Yang said. "We've got some other pressing matters."

She looked and saw that the aliens were extremely unnerved.

"Uh oh, the natives are getting restless." Tucker remarked. "Caboose, get up there and stall 'em, I'll go after Blake and Church and figure out what's going on."

Caboose walked up to the stand.

"Yes." He said. "And out of the darkness came someone! And that someone was me! Yes! Then I said, funerals are sad, and we should have a...birthday party instead! Yes! Yes! Let there be cake! Uh, hallelujah, gesundheit."

"We're so dead." Weiss groaned.

Meanwhile, Church was in pursuit of some mysterious figure in black.

"Hey! You! Hold on a second, who are you?"

The figure turned the corner to the next dune and disappeared.

"Hey-I'm talkin' to you! What're you, deaf?"

He then saw the figure go into the temple.

"What're you..."

The landscape changed. It was no longer sandy, but grassy. The temple was a metal structure with a large tower on top.

"What-"

"Church! Hey, Church!" Tucker said, walking over. "What're you doing out here, man?"

He turned to Tucker, and saw that it had changed back to the sandy dunes before, and that Tucker and Blake were in front of him.

"Wha-?"

"The aliens don't like it when you leave 'em alone. And I don't like it when the aliens don't like stuff." Tucker said.

"Church, what's wrong?" Blake asked.

"Did you see him?" Church replied.

"Who?" Tucker asked.

"The person. From the darkness-the-no, th-that's not right, that's not right. Well did you see?" He asked.

Sarge and Grif came down to the area. "What's he talkin' about?"Sarge asked.

"I think he's having another memory flash." Tucker said.

"A what?" Sarge asked.

"Random memories that keep coming back to him. He's been getting 'em more and more lately and I don't think he has any control over 'em. He gets all emo, too. It's annoying. Like having a chick around, but without all the fun parts about having a chick around. Like bonin'!"

Blake hit him in the head with the butt of her Gambol Shroud.

"I think you pissed her off, dude." Grif said.

"Yeah, I gotta be more careful with that. Having four underage girls armed to the teeth who could kill me any second is gonna backfire on me someday." Tucker replied.

"Keep that in mind next time you insult emos." Blake said.

"Is he having more memories?" Caboose asked, walking over with the rest of the team.

"Yep." Tucker said.

"Did he remember me this time?" Caboose asked.

"Nope."

"I saw a canyon, and uh, a waterfall." Church said. "And there was some kinda dark figure there."

"Was the dark figure me?" Caboose asked.

Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Caboose, we will let you if you come up, I promise." Tucker said. He turned to Church. "A waterfall, huh? That's the second time you've talked about that."

"Yeah, but where could that be?" Church asked.

"Uh, that sounds like our new bases." Grif said.

"It does?" Caboose asked. "It does!"

"What?" Tucker exclaimed. "Caboose, why didn't you mention that the first time?"

"Um, I didn't remember it?"

"You didn't remember a waterfall? Dude, that's like not remembering your first girlfriend turned out to have a dick. Right Grif?"

"Sometimes I'm sorry I even told you that story."


	11. Friends in Trouble

**Chapter 11, Coming up!**

Over in the sand dunes, Sarge and Grif, with Ruby and Yang, were on one side of the sand dune, while Tucker, Caboose, Weiss, and Blake were at the other end. Both sides were preparing to leave to go to the Reds and Blues' new base at Valhalla.

"So what's the base like?" Ruby asked.

"Well, it's got a waterfall, you already knew that." Grif replied. "But other then that, it's mostly just trees and two bases and other stuff."

"Cool." She mused.

Sarge grumbled.

"Hey, Sarge. What's wrong?" Grif asked.

"I don't like this, Grif." Sarge replied.

"What, the vision?"

"It's a waterfall! It's literally impossible to forget!" Tucker yelled from across the dune at Caboose. "Like girlfriend dick!"

"Yeah. I've never been what you call a "New Age" kind of guy." Sarge said.

"You don't say." Grif remarked.

"Not everyone adjusts to the times at the same pace." Ruby added. She remembered telling Taiyang that his favorite singer passed away 40 years ago. It-well, let's just say he took up half the tissues in the house.

"But this bowling ball seems to be on a heck of a role." Sarge said. "Pun intended. What, with the flying and the laser shooting and all."

"And he can lift stuff without arms. That's pretty cool." Grif added.

"That too." Sarge said. "What if there's something to this whole vision thing?"

"I'm sure that fighting you guys is the last thing on his mind." Yang assured him.

"Maybe so, but still. We need to call Simmons." Sarge replied. "Find out if he's seen anything out of the ordinary."

"How? Our long range radio here got destroyed, and we don't have enough signal power in the jeeps to reach him." Grif said.

"I think I have an idea how to fix that."

"Ow, my head. Oh!" Doc cried from inside Blue Base.

"Doc, you're alive! Oh good!" Simmons exclaimed.

"Yeah, no thanks to you!" Doc scolded. "Why'd you hit me?"

"I didn't hit you. They did!" Simmons said, gesturing to the mute brute and the Freelancer.

"Jerks! Who are they?" Doc asked.

"The dark one's Washington. He's a freelancer." Simmons replied.

"Great. 'Cause those guys are always such a blast to hang around with." Doc said sarcastically.

"The big one, we call the Meta." Simmons explained.

"But rumor had it those guys were disbanded." Doc said. "Everyone went to jail."

"Yeah? Well, I guess they got paroled." Simmons replied.

"You two. Quiet!" Washington barked.

"Why are you doing this, Wash?" Came a female voice from behind them.

Doc turned around.

There were Team JNPR, up against the wall, weapons taken away, and in wrist restraints.

"Huh? Who are they?"

"When I said quiet, I meant you as well." Wash said darkly to the four.

Pyrrha was adamant. "Where's South?"

Wash paused. "She was executed by firing squad after we were arrested."

Nora gasped. "That's bad, right?"

"Yes." Pyrrha replied. "But we can help you. Whatever situation you're in, just tell us."

Wash just said nothing. The Meta growled. It's cloaking device kept shorting out.

"Then you need to stop trying to use all of them." Washington said. "You just don't have the resources anymore."

"Meta killed a bunch of other freelancers. Took their equipment." Simmons explained.

"Like the invisibility?" Doc asked.

"Yeah, and the shield and the thing that slows down time." Simmons said. "He also stole their A.I. fragments, but those all got wiped out. Now something seems...I don't know...wrong with him."

"And A.I. fragment? THAT I remember!" Doc exclaimed. "Hey Simmons, remember that A.I. I had for a while? That thing was crazy!"

The Meta growled fierily, and turned towards Doc.

"Yikes!" Doc yelped. Simmons moved away, as the Meta slowly made its way towards him.

"Halt!" Washington yelled. "Meta, stop!"

"Wah! Simmons, help me!" Doc cried.

Pyrrha fiercely struggled with the restraints, but it was no use, as her aura was completely drained.

Washington walked over. "You. What did you just say?"

"Th-that I had one of your A.I. units?" Doc stuttered.

The Meta snarled and moved closer.

"Stand down!" Washington barked. "You said 'had'. Where is it now?"

"Gone." Doc said.

"Which one?" Wash questioned.

"Uh, uh, the mean one!" Doc exclaimed.

"Its name! Did you know its name?" Wash asked.

"Oh, O'Malley! I mean, uh, Omega!" Doc blurted.

"Well, that one's been accounted for." Washington said.

"I only had it for a short time!" Doc exclaimed.

"Well, then good. You know what to look for." Washington replied. "I need a complete scan of my friend here. And I would recommend you don't use any needles. He hates needles and we wouldn't want to make him angry, now would we?"

Back in the desert, Sarge and Grif had hooked Church up to the radio antenna.

"Alright, let's try this! You ready, antenna ball?" Sarge asked.

"I told you not to call me that!" Church retorted. "And hurry up! This metal rod isn't exactly in a comfortable place."

"Hey, do you want to find out about your vision or don't you?" Grif asked.

Sarge activated the radio. Ruby and Yang gathered around him to hear.

"Come in Valhalla outpost number one. Come in!" Sarge said. "Red base, do you read me? Come in!" He turned to the floating ball. "Give me more power, shotput."

Then, from the other side, came Simmons' voice.

"Uh, Sarge? Yeah, hi!"

"Who is this? Identify yourself." Sarge ordered.

"It's me, Simmons. Sorry sir." Came the reply.

"How's everything going there, Simmons?" Sarge asked.

"Here? Uh, fine, I guess. Everything's good. How about you guys?" Simmons replied.

"Mission is complete. We're preparing to head out soon." Sarge reported.

"What was that? Sorry, some static here. This radio's a little messed up." Simmons said. "Been a bit rainier here."

"I said we're coming back soon." Sarge replied.

"Oh, that's great!" Simmons said. "Hey, when do you think that'll be exactly?"

"Hard to say, Simmons." Sarge replied. "We'll let you know."

"Okay, Sarge. Sound's good."

"Over and out."

"Okay, good." Wash said. "Now get back over there."

He walked back over to Doc and Team JNPR.

"That was your Sergeant?" Doc asked.

"Yeah." Simmons replied.

"You think he'll come help us?" Doc asked.

"No, I couldn't say anything to him." Simmons said. "If they come, they'll be walking straight into a trap."

"Thanks for the help." Grif said to Church.

"Yeah, whatever, I'm not gonna fly straight for a week now." The floating ball muttered, flying away.

"Simmons sounded good." Grif remarked. "I guess he's got everything under control."

"Yep. Can't wait to see him again." Ruby said.

"Donut and Lopez are dead and someone has taken Simmons prisoner." Sarge blurted.

"Huh?" Ruby said, eyes wide as plates.

"Really?" Yang asked.

"What? Everything sounded fine to me." Grif said.

"Think about it. How do you answer the radio at our base?" Sarge asked.

"'Thank you for calling Red Base, this is Private Grif, how may I assist you today?'" Grif replied.

"And we've drilled that since day one!" Sarge exclaimed. "Simmons answered 'Hi!'. That was my first clue."

"So maybe he's just-" Grif started, but was interrupted.

"He also said the radio was in disrepair. When has Lopez ever let something go without the proper maintenance?" Sarge asked.

"Never." Grif said.

"Oh, maybe he's on to something." Ruby whispered to Blake.

"For the moment." Yang agreed.

"And look at the time." Sarge said.

"Can't Clock's broken." Grif replied.

"It's 17:30! And everybody knows that 17:30 is?"

"Donut's daily wine and cheese hour!" Grif exclaimed.

"I didn't hear any tinkling glasses. Did you?"

"You're right!"

"Wow! You're a real detective, Sarge!" Ruby said.

"Of course I am!" Sarge replied. "He also mentioned that the weather was rainier! And as we all know, Mount Rainier is the biggest land mass in the state of...Washington."

"We do?" Grif asked. "Uh, I mean we do!"

"How many washingtons do we know?" Sarge asked.

"Did he mean, Agent Washington?" Grif said.

"And who's the biggest mass we know, associated with Washington?" Sarge asked.

"The Meta!" Grif exclaimed.

"So, the Meta and Washington have teamed up to kill Donut and Lopez...and now they're holding Simmons and Doc prisoner!" Sarge summarized.

"We have to help-wait, Doc?" Grif asked. "H...how do you know he's there?"

"Please, Grif, it's so obvious. I don't want to insult your intelligence by explaining every little detail." Sarge said.

"Oh, uh, ok." Grif replied.

"Come on. We're going to Valhalla! It's time for a rescue mission!" Sarge exclaimed.

"Yeah, let's do it!" Ruby cheered.

"I'm in." Yang said.

"Rescue mission? How the hell are we supposed to fight Wash and the Meta?" Grif asked.

"Don't worry, I have a plan. How good are the seatbelts in this new jeep?" Sarge replied.

"Good, I guess." Grif said, as they drove of with Yang in the turret and Ruby running alongside them.

"Valhalla, huh?" Church said, before floating after the group.

"Wait, why?"


	12. RVBVWRBY PSA: Back in the Loop

**Cue Rvb Intro Theme**

"Hi. I'm Private Dick Simmons from the popular Web Series, Red Vs Blue."

"And I'm Yang Xiao Long from the same-wait no I'm not."

"If you've been around as long as we have, you've probably noticed a recent drop in the activity of the author, and like us, been wondering…"

"Why? Why make us wait so long for another chapter?"

"Well, we decided to go straight to the source, and find out what the hell is the deal with him. Over to you, Sarge."

"Thank you, Simmons. Boy, it's a wild 90 degrees F out here! We're standing right outside the author's home, where we suspect he must be on his computer, playing some of those ROLE PLAYING GAMES, OOOOOHHHH! Damn you, Bethesda. You've captured one of our best soldiers! And there's gonna be hell to pay when we get him back! RUBY!"

"In position!"

"Commence Operation: Post a Damn Chapter Already!"

"You got it!"

BOOOOM!

"What the fu-?"

"On your knees, dirtbag! We're taking you in!"

"W-w-w-where's your arrest warrant?"

"This isn't an arrest, dude. This is a kidnapping."

"Oh. Okay. I guess I should start screaming?"

"Nope."

"We'll be getting this sucker into custody and giving him a VERY informative discussion on why he shouldn't keep certain viewers, and more importantly, certain colored sci-fi soldiers and superpowered teenagers waiting! Back to you, Simmons."

"Thank you, Sarge. And now, back to your daily programming."

 **So yeah, I'm back, refueled with creativity and ready to make more chapters. New RWBY crossover coming out too. Hint: It has to do with a certain Kid with a Hat.**


	13. The Yang-Sarge-Grif-Ruby Shotgunarama

**Hello Everyone. It's been awhile, hasn't it? So to start off, I know there's really no excuse for not posting a chapter for an entire year, but life for me has been a roller coaster as of late. I now have a part-time job and a new computer (Previously I was uploading all my stories on an Ipad). I'm informing all of you that this hiatus is over, and during the summer I'll be updating both the Red vs Blue/Corpse Party story, this one, and the Deadpool/Corpse Party story regularly to make up for the lack of chapter posts.**

 **Chapter 12**

"Doc, what did you find out in your scan of the Meta?"

The purple-colored medic looked over at Wash. "Umm, it's hard to say. He's added so much non-standard equipment to his armor that I can't really get a good reading on him."

"I didn't want you to run an intelligence report on him. I wanted a medical one." Wash said firmly.

"His power systems are stressed from trying to maintain it all." Doc replied. "Is he missing some component that control all this, or-"

" **Physically**. Is he fine physically?" Wash clarified.

"Yeah, I guess." Doc said.

"Good. I'm watching you all. Give me any trouble and you're dead. Don't believe me? Ask your buddy about his friend, Donut."

Nora stuck her tongue out while Wash's back was turned.

"What a stuck-up." She whispered.

"Yeah. We noticed." Jaune replied.

"I don't understand this at all." Ren said. "Agent Washington's goal is to get out of prison, we know that. But what does the Meta get out of all of it?"

"Maybe he wishes to redeem himself aswellI?" Pyrrha suggested.

"Unlikely. I don't see how recovering something like that would give him immunity from killing his teammates." Ren stated. "He must be in it for some other reason."

"Well, why don't we ask him?" Nora whisper-screamed.

Their quiet discussion was interrupted when a bullet hit the wall between Ren and Jaune.

"Next one's going in between your eyes." Wash said. "Be quiet."

"Wash, where has your humility gone?" Pyrrha asked.

"Humility is not a luxury I have." Wash shot back. "This is my one chance. Don't make it more difficult by forcing me to kill kids."

"Hey, he does realize that I'm the one who scanned Donut's dead body, right?" Doc asked.

"I think he was just making a point." Simmons said. "Hey, I have an idea! Give me your scanner thing."

"My scanner?" Doc replied. "Why? It can't be used as a weapon."

"Maybe it can." Simmons said. "If I can overload the power cell, you may be able to fire an overcharged burst."

"Interesting thought." Ren replied.

"It could short out the Meta's systems." Simmons said. "Either that or..."

"...Or what?" Doc finished.

"Huh? What? Nah, nah, nah, nah. No 'or', just that, forget the 'or'." Simmons replied.

"You were going to say explode, weren't you?" Doc asked.

"No."

"Were you thinking explode?"

"Will you just give me the damn scanner?"

"Hey, wait." Pyrrha whispered. "Did you hear that?"

"Oh Simmons! "Simmons!"

"Yeah." Jaune said. Sounded like..."

"Where are you? Yoo-hoo!"

Washington went over to the front of the base and took a quick look.

"Looks like just one of them." He observed.

The Meta growled a response.

"I don't know if he has it." Wash said. "I can't see from this far."

Another growl.

"No, you stay here. Guard the rest. I'll go out there. If he gives me any trouble, just kill the prisoners and come help me."

Jaune let out a groan. "Well there go our chances of getting rescued."

"I hope your friend doesn't give him any trouble." Doc added.

"If it's one of my friends, he won't stand a chance." Simmons muttered.

Back in the desert, Tucker, Weiss, and Blake looked around for the Reds

"Yo, dudes!" He called out. "Sarge! Grif! Where'd you go?"

"Looks like they're all gone." Blake remarked. "Ruby and Yang too."

"I can't believe they just left us!" Weiss exclaimed. "How inconsiderate!"

"Um, hey, guys?" Caboose said.

Weiss paid no attention to the blue idiot. She had her fill for the day with these morons. Blake scanned the horizon, looking for any traces that would tell them where the Reds had gone.

"Um, have you seen Church?"

"No, I'm looking for the Red guys." Tucker replied. "Looks like they fixed one of the jeeps and took off."

"Oh. Well that's not good." Caboose remarked.

"Seriously? Why are you so obsessed with that loudmouth egotistic bowling ball?" Weiss asked.

"What's an egg-o-tistik-ol?" Caboose replied.

"Nevermind. Forget I said anything." Weiss said.

"Maybe Church went with them, or maybe they took him, I don't know dude." Tucker suggested.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." Caboose said. "I don't think that would happen."

Blake raised her eyebrows. She and Tucker turned around.

"What? How the fuck would you know?" Tucker asked.

Blake widened her eyes at seeing the figures behind Caboose and nudged Weiss, who looked in her direction in response.

"Cause if he was gone, I think some people who were looking for him might be really mad that he's not here...and we might have to explain to those people why he's not here...and those people might not like our explanation...and those people might hurt us with plasma guns and plasma grenades."

"Oh, right." Tucker said.

Blake palmed the hilt of Gambol Shroud. "This isn't good."

"I mean the alie-"

"WE KNOW!" Weiss shouted.

From the backside of the wall, Ruby looked at Sarge through the scope of Crescent Rose, with Yang beside her.

"So what's the plan?" Yang asked.

"I don't know. Sarge just made a bunch of exploding noises with his mouth and acted out some sort of slow-motion action movie." Ruby replied.

"That's the kinda plan I like." Yang said grinning.

"Freeze!" Washington called out to Sarge, whose back was turned to him. "Turn around."

Sarge did as he was told. "Well, well. If it isn't our good buddy Agent Washington."

"I got a couple other names for him." Yang hissed, cracking her knuckles.

"Shush!" Her sister scolded. "Let Sarge do his thing!"

"And just what are you doing here?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Sarge." Washington said. "Where's the rest of your guys, where's Epsilon?"

"Someplace safe." Sarge replied.

"He's going to get himself killed one day." Ruby sighed.

"You can either tell me, or you can tell the Meta back at the base."

"The Meta is here?" Sarge asked in fake surprise.

"Yes." Washington said. "And he really wants a chance to repay you guys for all the trouble you caused him."

"Should I load a round?" Ruby asked.

"Didn't you just tell me like 20 seconds ago to let Sarge do his thing?" Yang replied.

"I seem to recall you caused him some of that trouble yourself." Sarge shot back.

"Situations changed. Now drop your weapons."

Ruby watched as Sarge dropped his shotgun.

"What's he doing?!" She whisper-screamed.

"Hey, 'let him do his thing', right?" Yang said.

"Oh, will you quit with that? This is serious!"

"Just so you know, gonna want that back in a minute." Sarge said, switching to his pistol.

Washington kept his rifle raised. "I said, drop your weapons."

"All my weapons?" Sarge asked.

"Yes."

"You sure? Maybe I can just keep the pistol. Y'know these things aren't quite as effective as they used to be."

"I'm loading a round." Ruby deadpanned.

"Drop it! Now!" Wash barked.

The pistol fell to the ground.

"Well that's what people say."

"Good. Now, march."

"Son, you can insult me. You can ambush me. You can even take away my weapons. But if you think I'm gonna step one single pinky toe inside of Blue Base, without my _SHOTGUN,_ you must not know who you're dealing with."

"Ooooh, nice." Yang said. "Burn Wash, burn."

"That wasn't a burn, that was a deathwish." Ruby corrected.

"Oh have a little faith, Ruby. When has Sarge ever let us-oh wait I just heard what I said."

"I said move." Wash repeated.

"And I said, _shotgun_." Sarge countered.

"Yes." Wash said. "I have your shotgun."

"No, I mean, _shot-GUN_!" Sarge replied.

"Does he want you to step in, Yang?" Ruby asked.

"I dunno, maybe he's trying to use some sort of reverse-psychology on him, like play stupid. That or he's just actually being stupid." Yang replied.

"What is this, you think I'm going to give you your shotgun because you asked?" Wash said.

"I said, _SHOTGUN_!" Sarge yelled. " _SHOTGUN,_ damnit!"

"Oooooh, I think I get it now." Ruby said.

From behind the wall, they could hear a muffled, "Oh yeah! _Shotgun_! That's my cue!"

"Huh?" Washington said, turning around. "Wait…What're you up to?"

A loud noise, like a motor, started up, getting closer to the wall.

"Uhhh, Ruby?" Yang said in a worried tone.

"What is that noise? Wash asked.

"I think we should MOVE!" Yang shouted, grabbing Ruby and jumping out of the way, just in time to make way for Grif, riding straight into the wall with the jeep.

"Do I hear a…"

The wall shattered into a million pieces. Time seemed to slow down as Sarge jumped out of the way. Although Washington's helmet covered his facial expressions, there was no doubt this was the last thing he expected to happen.

"...CAR?!"

The jeep hit him right in the torso, forcing him to hold on to the car for dear life.

"How's my bumper taste, asshole?" Grif taunted, but it was only well lived for a moment, as Wash quickly recovered from the shock of being hit and clambered up to the hood, only to be face to face with Yang.

"Hey, Wash. Feel like going for a joyride?"

Wash groaned, and swung the butt of Sarge's shotgun in her face, Yang blocking it with her gauntlets. The two continued tussling, each attempting to get a hit in. At one point, Yang grabbed a hold of Wash's hand holding his rifle. Wash's hand reacted by pulling the trigger, sending bullets flying through the windshield at Grif, who ducked down to avoid them.

"Hey! Didn't anyone ever tell you to not distract the driver?!" Grif yelled.

"Sorry!" Yang shouted back.

Grif then noticed between the two of them a ledge onto the waterfall, which would surely cause the vehicle to topple. He slammed his foot on the pedals, hoping to find the one break pedal. Finally finding it, the vehicle slid into a stop, with Yang grabbing onto the windshield to prevent her from falling. Wash was not so lucky, being tossed into a bunch of strange glowing yellow boxes.

Sarge ran over to the Jeep, and Yang handed him his Shotgun she plucked from Wash during the fight.

"Nice work soldier. Told you I'd get it back." He grunted.

"How 'bout next time we choose a codeword, we don't choose something you say every 5 seconds." Grif said.

"Just drive, numbnuts. Sarge replied, climbing into the passenger seat. Yang held onto the windshield and sat on the hood as they drove over to where Wash landed.

Wash clambered to his feet, shaking himself off and groaning. Then, out came the jeep, with Sarge standing in the passenger seat with his shotgun pointed at the barrels, which he realized by now were explosives.

"Agent Wash.,."

"Son of a bitch."

"You just got-"

Whatever Sarge said after was cut off by the sounds of explosions.

"Goddamnit, messed up my one-liner."

"Thanks for letting me help, Sarge." Yang said.

"Are you kidding? You'd make a perfect Red Team soldier! I've been saying that since Blood Gulch!" Sarge replied. "The amount of Blue blood we could spill together…"

Back at Blue Base, Simmons had finished messing with Doc's medical tool.

"Okay, now's our chance, Doc! Hit him with an overcharge. It should overload at least one of his systems."

"Um...You do it." Doc said.

"What?! Me? I don't even know how to fire that thing!" Simmons whispered.

"Just pull the trigger and let go! It's super easy!"

"Nonono, you're trained with it, you should do it. Go!"

Simmons nudged Doc in the direction of the Meta.

"You can do it, Doc!" Nora whisper-screamed.

"What if I miss?!" Doc asked. "What if it doesn't do anything but make him mad? I already made him mad once and that didn't really work out very well."

"Yeah, I mean he is a pacifist, so how would he know where to aim?" Jaune added.

"Ssshh! Just let him do it!" Ren shushed.

"But-"

"Do you want him to do it, or us? Ren said.

"Point taken."

"We...Well then we'll just, we'll improvise!"

"Yeah, I don't feel entirely comfortable with that answer." Doc said.

Team JNPR's eyes went wide as plates as they saw a tall plume of black smoke rise over the base.

"What the heck was that?" Doc asked.

"Uh oh!" Simmons squeaked. "I have a bad feeling someone just caused some trouble!"

The Meta turned around, his Bruteshot's blade looking particularly sharp today. Jaune's teeth started to chatter.

"OH NO! IMPROVISE! IMPROVISE!" Simmons yelled as Doc powered up his tool. 


End file.
